This is my first book where you ,the reader, are the main character also a few characters are mine and the rest are Aphmau's
Your name: Y/N
Village name: V/N
Hair color: H/C
Eye color: E/C
Fave color: F/C
2nd fave color: 2F/C
Pet name: P/N
Fake name...
So guys I have something to kinda tell you.... You dont have to read this so imma let you decide real quick also ABBY DO NOT READ
Abby if you are disobeying my wishes then please dont get mad at me because of this..... I just need to talk to someone/some people about this..... You'd suggest telling my parents and getting help...
Everything decided? Ok..... Guys I have terrible depression.... I feel lonely even though im not.... When i have to leave someone (such as going to school and leaving my parents) I feel lonely and scared, why? I have no idea. But one day something happened and.... I picked up my knife and.... Kinda made scratches hid under my shorts.....then my parents did a phone check and I was shaking while trying to eat because of what they might find. They came back into my room and we had a talk and they asked the one thing I wished they wouldn't "Have you tried cutting before...?" Of course I lied and said "No." But I have... I've actually sometimes think bad things.....really bad... I know I need help but I dont want help! My parents said they wouldn't allow therapists to give me medicine but therapists would probably give me crap anyways.... I recently ditched some fake friends and I would rarely stop smiling that night. So much weight was lifted but........ But I still feel upset..... Scared..... Mad at myself.....for no reason.... My laugh isnt rare to hear but may as well be considered fake... My smile is a semi rare thing to see..... I hate myself for no reason...... My appetite is disappearing and thats scaring me.... I try to seem able to handle myself and be this tough girl but i reality im just a weak, scared, confused little girl.....I love making books and roleplaying because I love to think of a life better....everyone could look at my life and be like "The only thing to be upset over is fake friends and family arguments/fights.... Why is she so depressed?" And imma tell the truth here.... I think it all started when I started calling myself ugly... Then other things happened.... When I was called weird it stung.... When I was called worthless by HB, even though she was playing, I just set a fake smile and laugh and couldn't help thinking if she was right.... What if I am worthless..... What if I am useless... What if I am ugly... What if my friends were fake friends because they pitied me...? What if this meant nothing.... Just a sign of pity that I haven't thrown away...
Hoppla! Dieses Bild entspricht nicht unseren inhaltlichen Richtlinien. Um mit dem Veröffentlichen fortfahren zu können, entferne es bitte oder lade ein anderes Bild hoch.
What if I can never be truly happy...? Trust me I've asked and prayed for my depression to be gone.... One night I even cried... And after that I did some scratches on my leg.... I keep glancing at a needle in my room.... Thats right beside me.... After a huge fight happened between some friends one of them texted me after a while and yelled at me for taking another's side.... I asked her to never text me again.... I remember when I was always happy and a shy little girl who didnt want to hurt anyone....I barely remember those days..... Now if that shy little girl looked at me she would be scared,.... Asking me why am I so violent... Why am I so depressed.... Why am I so scared..... After my parents found out about me wanting to cut they took my knife and I still regret not deleting those conversations... Bye guys I feel like I've wasted a lot of your time and im sorry...... Bye...
