Moments In Between ( Book 2)

Chapter 20: Superwoman

How?

How do I go on without her? My life has become a bitter nightmare and I can't continue living like this anymore. They will not understand. Shane completes me. When she left the first time she broke my heart. She was always there for me. Since that day I met her. Though I did not realize it at first she was the one who kept me centered.

In our early teen years, when I started rolling with bad company she rescued me. When I started getting too promiscuous she was the one who stopped me. She was the one who got me to give Mark a chance. Whenever I needed someone she was always there. Pulling me by my ear and slapping sense into me when I deserved it. Without her, I would have been lost. Like I am now.I survived when she left the first time. Somehow I knew I would. This time is different. This time she knows I love her. I know she loves me. This time I was ready to fully commit, to start a life with her. I can't do that now. He took her and I know that maniac's like Eric do not just let the people they... I can't even bring myself to say it but I know he will never let her go because he knows how bad I want her.

I am supposed to just move on from all of this. Why should I? How can I? How am I supposed to wake up every day and be okay? How do I live knowing I lost her? That she is not safe. I said I would protect her and I failed. I will never get to see her again.Someone knocks on my bedroom door.

"Jared open the door." Mom calls.

I remain silent. Go away, mom.

"Jared, baby come on, please open the door." She knocks and continues calling for five minutes.I get up and unlock the door. I can never beat her persistence. A few moments later mom steps inside closing the door again. Her eyes widen with shock and worry as she turns and sees what I have done to my room, what I am about to do to myself.

I look away as she faces me. Not wanting to meet her angry scowl. She walks up to me and hugs me. I freeze for a moment then hug her back as she starts crying. A few minutes pass then she stops and cups my face in her hands.

"I love you Jared and when I thought lost you it killed me... I didn't think it was fair for me to be alive when my baby couldn't be... I couldn't look at myself, I just knew I couldn't protect my baby like I was supposed to and I hated myself... Then one day I decided to take my life... But I couldn't...that same day Jasmyne told me I was still pregnant. I cried and she thought I was happy but I almost took your life away from you and look how far we have come, Jared... Everything may not be perfect but we can survive anything baby, do you understand?"

"Yeah but..."

"I loved your father with every inch of my soul and I didn't see life beyond him. Not until you."

"Mom I can't...."

"You're not alone Jared and you won't ever be. I am here for you. I didn't lose you back then and I won't be losing you now."

"This is too hard."

"I know. What happened to Shane is unfair and unjust and I pray that she finds a way back to us. But.." She takes my hand and leads me to the living room pointing out its occupants and my heart, what's left of it breaks even more. "Leaving them is also unfair and unjust."