What do I have to do? (A Riker Lynch/ R5 love story)

I'm not that girl

Two months after the death of my mum and I was still in a state of depression. The Lynchs had tried everything to help me but nothing changed. I sat in mine and Rydel's room. "Lucy, you need to listen to me. You have to try and move on" Ross says. I just stare at him. "HOW THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO MOVE ON? MY MUM IS DEAD AND MY DAD DOESN'T GIVE TO SHITS ABOUT ME! I explode. He move back shocked. I then bow my head and begin to sob. There were times that I did just snap and yell however the one person who was always there to calm me down was Riker. Today was no different. "Shh, don't worry Lu. I'm here, I've got you" he whispers into my hair as I cry into his shoulder. Ross leaves us and Riker lays back so that I am resting on his chest. "Where is she?" He asks quietly. "Who?" I ask. "Lucy. The real carefree, 'I don't give a damn what you think' girl" he continues. I sit up and look at him. "Just think about that. I'll see you later, I've got a date with Amanda" he says as he walks to my door. Oh yeah. Did I forget to mention that they have gotten back together? Well apparently she said she was sorry and he forgave her. I watch him leave before turning on my music. The song 'I'm not that girl' from 'Wicked' started to play. This described how I felt perfectly. I move to the mirror as I sing

Hands touch, eyes meet

Sudden silence, sudden heat

Hearts leap in a giddy whirl

He could be that boy

But I'm not that girl

Don't dream too far

Don't lose sight of who you are

Don't remember that rush of joy

He could be that boy

I'm not that girl

Ev'ry so often we long to steal

To the land of what-might-have-been

But that doesn't soften the ache we feel

When reality sets back in

I start to imagine what could have happened if Riker and I were together. We would be happy and I would be myself again and not be wrapped up in the past.

Blithe smile, lithe limb

She who's winsome, she wins him

Gold hair with a gentle curl

That's the girl he chose

And Heaven knows

I'm not that girl

Don't wish, don't start

Wishing only wounds the heart

I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl

There's a girl I know

He loves her so

I'm not that girl

I turn out the light and settle down for a night of dreams about Riker. After tomorrow I wouldn't see him or the others for a while because they were going out on tour. To be honest I think that I am dying because everything that I love is being taken away from me. I mean yeah I still have Darcy and Maria, but I wouldn't have Riker there to look out for me.

The next morning I woke to the sound of movement. I open my eyes to see Rydel packing the last few things that she needed before they left. "Mornin'" I say groggily. "Morning Lucy" she replies with a smile. I get up and dress in a pair of skinnies a white t-shirt and a leather jacket with assorted jewelry and black ankle boots. After that I make my way to the kitchen where I see Rocky, Ross, Ellington, Ryland and Riker. I grab some food and join them at the table. We spend half an hour disscussing the tour.

"Be sure you keep in contact as often as you can.'Kay Rike?" I say as we make our way to the airport. "Of course I will Lucy!" He says as we walk into the terminal. They get checked in and then it is time for the painful part. "Bye Lucy" Rock says as we hug. "See you soon" Ross and Ellington say hugging me one at a time. "Stay true to yourself" Rydel whispers while we embrace. Then I turn to Riker. I feel the tears forming in my eyes. I see the tears in his eyes. "Well..." he says before he chokes back a sob. "Goodbye" I say before I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him close. The tears that had been building in our eyes escaped and we cried into the shoulder of the other. He turns to leave. If I don't do it now... I never will I think as he starts to leave. "Wait!" I say as I move to catch up with him. "Yeah?" he asks as he turns back to me. I grab the front of his shirt and push my lips onto his. After a couple of seconds he starts to kiss me back with so much passion that I feel my knees give way ever so slightly. When we break apart he says "How long have you felt like this?" to which I reply "Almost two years". Then before we could say anything else to each other he was escorted out by his family to catch their plane. I follow as far as I can, waving them off. Then they were out of my sight.