6:24

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Dear Shell,

6:24 PM / No music is playing. The only sound I could hear in this dimly lit room is the growling of the air conditioner. Somehow, I couldn't sleep without that growling sound. A sense of emptiness fills the room at night without it. However, recently, I paused from using it at night. Nights have been cold due to the passing rain. So, of course, I couldn't sleep. I tried everything I could think of to get myself tired, and sleep. Nothing really worked. Until three nights before this evening's- I thought of you. I thought of you, I thought of us. I thought of how happy we were then. Then I pushed those thoughts of us away, fearing what thoughts come after that. So I thought of how happy you are now. How happy you are with your friends, family, team, and him. Your happiness keeps me awake, and lulls me to sleep at night. Two nights later, I began using the aircon again. Nights were more humid now, therefore the rain comes in the morning. The growling sound means nothing to me now. It doesn't fill the room anymore, it has now just been part of the passing scenery. My thoughts on your happiness, our happiness, has began to fill the nights now. I'm creepy and I know it. But how couldn't I? Our thoughts and memories were all I could keep of what we made.

Lasagna is for dinner,
6:35 PM // July X

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