dear harry styles,
i saw your face the last time on 13rd of december and i can't tell you how i miss you.
starting this break i believed you're going to come back and be better then ever, but now sitting alone in my room wearing a one direction fan t-shirt i truly believe you won't come back.
you left my life just like that.
and you took my heart with you.
my instagram and twitter feed is not the same without you, the boys or any fan accounts posting.
you really deserve this break and i hope you are having a good time with whoever makes you happy.
i always thought i'm going to be a directioner for forever and always but i'm really questioning that, don't get me wrong i still love them so much that i'm afraid that my heart is going to explode every second, but there is just such a big hole in my life and you are the one who should fill this hole, but realizing that you won't come back, that you won't do another tour or that i won't see your face on tv again hurts me so much that i'm trying to move on and i think this hurts the most.
trying to listen to my heart that says that i should be positive and keep my love up for you, but then there is my head who realizes that everything is over, all the good times are over and they probably won't come back.
maybe i'm wrong and you will come back however and slay everyone, but for now i gotta listen to my head because if i don't my heart will be ripped apart.
all i want you to know is that you were my first real crush even though i don't know you personally, i know embarrassing right.
i love you so much and i want you to be happy no matter what it costs.
it's not a goodbye for forever, but it is one for now.
chiara
