dear harry styles,
it was a blessing spending those few days with you, in bed. just you and me. just us.
i never expected that i will actually just lay in bed with my crush since i was really young and it really makes me happy, i can't explain it in words.
i know it is really hard for you to do this whole break thing and you want to keep touring just to make your fans happy because they are a part of your life and they are really important for you. but you and all the boys deserve this break. you worked so hard and now you have one year to relax and just go on a big holiday as niall said. you are coming back, i know it, you promised it.
you know that i'm a fan of you and the boys since 2010 and i always supported you and i will keep doing that- till the end - no matter what happens, because this is my family. this whole fandom, is my family. and family is important, whether it is the family you are born with or the one you create. and we created this little (it's actually really big) family and i know that you are proud of us no matter what we do, no matter which project we start, no matter which hashtag we start trending, just no matter what.
you were always a big part of my life and you will always be, but to know that you actually love me as a person and just not as the fandom. i never really had a relationship before you and you know how afraid i am to show people my feelings, because it shows them weakness and that means that they can hurt me pretty bad and i'm not planning on getting hurt, because this pain is never going away.
i never loved someone that much like i love you. and i need to say that you were actually my first crush. and you were my first kiss too and i hope you are going to be my last kiss too.
i can't describe my feelings for you. i just can't, because words will never be enough.
all i can promise you is staying till the very last end and to love you with all my heart till the death is separating us. and i hope this relationship is going to end with the death because i still want to visit so many places we can't even pronounce with you and i would love to drive at midnight with the windows down. i just want to do all the things we can do on this planet with you.
and i want the whole world to know that i'm yours and that you're mine.
______________________________
so many song references in just one chapter.
if you don't find any, here there are:
- i still want to visit so many places we can't even pronounce (1D - Perfect)
- I would love to drive at midnight with the windows down (1D - Perfect)
- and i want the whole world to know that i'm yours (1D - They don't about us)
- my first kiss - last kiss (1D - Last First Kiss)
i'm so sorry for not writting - i really am, but my life is really hard right now i'm working on my personality too, but the main reason is that otra is over and i can't believe that the break is just a few months away and i seriously don't know what i'm going to do, maybe i will be better in school, but i'm just not ready, yes they deserve it but it just hurts and i'm so proud of them and omg i maybe starting to cry in the middle of a lesson. so i will end this beautiful (i'm really proud of this chapter ok) chapter here, because i don't want to cry right now (i cried 2 hours straight yesterday) ok i gotta go
bYE 💖
