"Jimin-Hyung I'm so sorry."
Jungkook's voice cracked halfway through the sentence before he broke down into sobs again, looking up at Jimin with the most sorrowful expression the sprit had ever experienced.
"I didn't want to kill him Hyung! I don't want to do this anymore but I couldn't help it!" Jungkook was shaking heavily, eyes widened as he spoke erratically. "He was innocent Hyung! He didn't look older than you! And now he's dead because of me! I'm a monster Jimin-Hyung, I'm the lowest of the low." Jungkook's stained fingers scratched as his forearms as his breathing became heavier with each word he spoke. "I should die too shouldn't I? The world would be safer, everyone would be happy.."
"Jungkook-"
"I could kill myself right now you know? The gun I used today is under my bed right now. It would be so easy Hyung. Everyone would be happy-"
"Jungkook!" The younger's head snapped up from where it was looking under his bed, eyes wide. "Stop talking like that right now! How is killing yourself going to solve anything? Explain that to me!"
"Because then I won't be around to hurt any more people Hyung!" Jungkook's voice was raw, tears streaming down his face and causing Jimin to feel a pang in his chest. "The world doesn't need people like me! I shouldn't even exist!"
Jimin didn't answer and leaned forward instead, wrapping his arms around the younger and rubbing his back. He felt as Jungkook practically melted in his arms and sighed, moving his hand up to comb through the other's dark locks.
"Everything has a reason for existing Jungkook." He paused for a moment before continuing. "Murder is something that's hard to forgive Jungkook." He whispered, feeling Jungkook's tears dampen his shirt. "But I've already pretty much forgiven you for mine haven't I? If I ever come home and find you dead however, I'll never forgive you."
The younger sobbed harder into Jimin's shoulder, gripping onto the fabric of his shirt and smearing some of the blood that was on his hands onto it.
"Why don't you hate me?" His voice was muffled, but the spirit was able to make out the words.
"Because I know that you don't want to do what you do."
Jimin had concluded long ago that Jungkook wasn't exactly mentally stable, but was afraid of what the younger's reaction may be if he suggested professional help.
"If my mom tried and failed to kill someone, maybe if I tried and succeeded she'd finally think I was good for something"
He remembered Jungkook's words from awhile ago and tightened his grip on the younger. It was all his mom's fault that he was like this. If she hadn't had beaten, if she had loved him, Jungkook wouldn't have to live the harsh lifestyle he did.
A lifestyle of lies.
A lifestyle of regret.
"You're such a good person Hyung." Jungkook sighed. "You're so forgiving and I don't deserve it. I shouldn't have taken such an amazing person from the world, it should have been me instead."
"I thought I told you to stop talking like that." Jimin spoke, worried that Jungkook would really go through with his intentions. "You may have done some horrible things Jungkook, and you must have so much weight to carry, but please don't give up alright? I-I don't know what happens to a spirit if their killer kills themself, and that scares me."
Jungkook's eyes snapped open as he felt Jimin continue to run his hand through his hair, heart rate increasing.
He hadn't thought of that.
If he died, where would Jimin go?
Even if he wasn't going to live for himself, he decided right then and there that Jimin would be his reason to.
"Jungkook I want you to tell me exactly what happened today." Jimin spoke, Jungkook's breath hitching in his throat.
"I-I went out with the intention to k-kill someone. It wasn't a spur of the moment thing." Jimin gulped at the younger's words. "I didn't want to, and I hated the feeling of the gun's cold metal against my hand as I left the house but... There was a nagging voice in my head telling me that I needed to. I needed to make mom proud."
The spirit listened close as Jungkook pulled away and seemed to try and gather his thoughts.
"He was walking down an alleyway like you were Hyung. He looked like such a nice person, pretty hair tied up in a ponytail; but then I shot him. Right in the heart too." Jungkook's voice began to grow shakier, the orange hair spirit across from him furrowing his eyebrows and reaching forward to hold his hand. "I guess I snapped out of it right after I pulled the trigger, and I ran to him pressing my shirt to his wound in hopes to stop the bleeding. But the gunshot alerted people I guess, and I had to run."
The spirit's eyes widened at the words Jungkook spoke, gulping as the similarities struck him.
It couldn't be Jeonghan could it?
The similarities were too striking for Jimin to say that wasn't true, and his blood ran cold.
He couldn't tell Jungkook that he met the spirit of the person he just killed, the boy's psyche seemed extremely fragile and Jimin didn't know what would happen if he told him.
"You tried to stop the bleeding?" Jimin asked, fairly surprised that Jungkook felt any emotion after killing someone, let alone the need to save them. The younger nodded, wiping his eyes once more.
"Jimin-Hyung I know it's hard to believe but I regretted what I did the moment my finger left the trigger. I thought that maybe I'd feel better if I tried to save him." His words were shaky, watching as Jimin reached over to hold his blood covered hands. "But I don't feel better! I used to try and hide what I felt with a arrogant attitude and acting like I didn't care about my actions. I care Hyung, I care!"
"I know you do Jungkook." Jimin stood up, pulling the younger up with him. "Go get cleaned up and then we'll relax okay? You need to rest." Jungkook leaned into the touch as Jimin stroked the side of his face gently.
"Okay."
--------
The orange haired spirit sat on Jungkook's bed, cuddled up into one of the younger's sweaters as he stared out the window at the setting sun.
The shower had shut off a few moments ago, Jimin currently waiting for Jungkook to walk into the room. The door soon opened, the raven haired boy walking out of the room wearing only a pair of sweatpants.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled, wrapping his arms around his torso shyly. "I-I usually don't sleep with a shirt on and you usually don't come up with me at night so.."
Jimin chuckled, standing up and walking over to the younger. He wiped a few still wet pieces of hair off of the younger's forehead before grabbing his wrist gently.
"It's fine Jungkook." He chuckled, tugging him over to the bed before lying down.
"Why are you so amazing?" Jungkook mumbled once Jimin turned onto his other side so that they were both facing each other. "Compared to you I'm so-"
"Hey." Jimin interrupted, scooting forward and flicking Jungkook's forehead playfully. "I thought I told you to stop talking like that hm?" The younger ended slightly once he felt the spirit's arms wrap around him, his fluffy hair tickling his bare chest.
"I can't help it. Don't try telling me that I'm a good person because I'll know that you're lying." He mumbled, allowing his arm to rest on Jimin's waste.
"Sometimes good people do really bad things."
