My Neighbors

4:Waking Up in a Dream

I see her face. That bright smile and tan skin. Her beady intimidating eyes that always kept me on my toes, though her soft cheeks and hair with her warm smile is what makes her the caring mother she is.

Why do I keep dreaming?? Stop dreaming!

Usually I'd wake up at this point, struggling to breathe with that baggy heavy mask clouding my oxygen. I would look through the darkness and wait for those callused iron hands to take me away to be tortured again, to feel the same pain I always felt. I waited... but for some reason those hands never came, and I could see light behind this woman, I could breathe clearly.

"Is she awake?" someone asks. A man. His face pops up and I sit up quickly, although taking in a massive unbearable migraine along with it. I look at him walking toward me, hand on my head and once his soft, mellow hands reached my arm, I knew this wasn't a dream.

But they couldn't be? My brain went through so much trying to forget those sweet moments I spent with these people and what life was like when they were around. It was so difficult for my brain to just automatically go back to how life was, to accept this as reality when it clearly wasn't. I stood up and backed up from them, terrified, keeping myself on guard to prepare for anything to arise. They saw this and looked at one another worrisome. I knew that look. It was pity and guilt.

My "father" stood in front of the other two and kept them away from me, telling them I can handle this myself. Just stay here.

I observed my surroundings, I was in a tent, earlier I was laying on a bench, there were mattresses in the top right corner, there was a place for food and water in the top left corner and directly on the left from me was a bunch of suitcases and back packs, their stuff and clothes.

I was in the same tent I passed out in, how is that possible? I thought I was in a dream, is it possible to wake up in a dream, to dream in a dream?

"Iviana, it's us." He spoke to me calm and direct, that same voice that always made me feel safe. But this was all so conflicting, I didn't know whether I should smile and hug them or run away and kill myself. There was always that little voice telling me IT'S A TRAP. It was arguing with HEY IT'S OKAY, THEY'RE YOUR FAMILY.

"NO!" I say, a little above a shout. Then squint at them. They were all looking at me like I was some kind of psycho wild animal. "You all died." I say in a lower more determined voice.

"I understand what you must be going through." He says making cautious movements toward me.

I chuckle, "That's an understatement."

"We had to protect you." For some reason I felt the line We had no other choice coming on. I tried my best to not break a smile. He says this moving closer, at the same time I move back.

"Don't touch me." I say backing up. Then he stopped completely and walked back toward the pack.

"We'll give you your space to clear your head. It's okay, we'll be here when you need us."

I didn't flinch, nod, or shake my head. I just stood there and stared at them. This reminded me of when I found out we were moving away. I didn't want to, but my dad was the leader. He was the wolf who barked at the rest to stay back until I felt safe, and I was his daughter, the next wolf in line that he wants to turn into his proud queen.

I sat there, staring at everyone, I could tell my mom was crying, the way her eyes would always look after waking up was the same as her crying aftermath. I had no expression, no vulnerabilities. This could be a test, one to mess with my head. That would be pretty smart, unable to attack from the outside, so they target the inside.

I'm not going to let my guard down but I decided to try and talk to them, try to figure out what their motive was, little bits at a time. Make it seem like I'm letting my guard down, so they will trust me more and start expecting things, start to make small judgments on what I'm capable of. Eventually if they see that they're able to trust me, this should tell me what I need to know, and if not, I'll find out the answer somehow. The answer to this one question; Why are they here?

I stood up and walked toward them, still keeping the entire plan locked in my mind, trying to prepare myself to bust out some acting skills. For right now I was going to let them know I'm on my guard, this way, they will think that I will be announcing my plans from here on out. Although I do have my doubts about my father he's more observant than the others.

"Okay." I say, standing right behind my father, who was sitting with the other two my "brother" and "mother" who were all in a circle.

They all stand up from their spots and my mother makes her way toward me like she was expecting me to come toward her with open arms. I back up and warn them, "that doesn't mean I trust you, I will be on my guard." She stops, serious face, understanding. I look at each of them individually so that they know I'm speaking to all of them. "So don't push it." I say.

My father's eyes understood. My mother's eyes seemed to understand as well and my brother's eyes seemed to not take me too seriously, like I was still some little girl, although I sort of expected this reaction from all of them, even from my brother.

Now, who are these people?