~ON HOLD~ Forget Love (Book One)

~Chapter Three: I Would Do Nothing

2:15. Two o'lock in the fricken morning, and we're watching family guy. Not even one of the funny episodes, either.  

At that point, I was ready to climb into bed.

Finn sat next to me, with one arm loosely wrapped around my waist. But Tristan, on the other hand, kept trying to hold my hand.

Ugh.

Most people would love to have a guy, but I couldn't care less. Yeah, have a date to homecoming or to prom, but that's about it. If I am lonely, I'll hang out with friends. But this...this isn't exactly fun.

"Uh, I'm going to go brush my teeth," I proclaimed, rising from my awkward seat on the sofa. To tell the truth, I was really just going to climb into my bed, an go to sleep. That was the longest I'd ever gone without sleep, and I need sleep.

"I'll come with." Finn offered. 

"I have to do a lot with my braces and contacts-"

"Kase, you don't have braces or contacts..." Emmalyn King said, putting in. She, on the other hand, wore contacts and have just taken off her braces.

"They're the ones that go behind your teeth." I lied. My teeth were fine. "And exactly. Because they fit so well."

My lies were terrible, and they all saw through them. Especially Finn, who would be more than happy to tag along anyway. "It's cool," he added.

I stared into the long mirror in my bathroom, watching myself brush my teeth. Finn was standing next to me, doing the same exact thing. His dark hair was matted at the base of his forehead, giving him a grunge look. 

"You know," he said right before he spat into one of the sinks. "You've got really pretty eyes. And an amazing smile." He rinsed his toothbrush, and got started on the mouthwash. "You're really special."

I smiled at him, never hearing such compliments from anyone but my family. "Thanks." I said, not knowing what else to say. I thought about complimenting him right back... "Your face...I like that."

He let out a loose chuckle, and smiled brightly at me. "What a great sense of humor you've got on your hands."

"I try."

I suddenly stopped brushing my teeth, and looked Finn right in the eyes. "What?" He asked curiously. When I didn't answer, he asked, "What?" again.

"Nothing, it's just that...Homecoming was it for us." I confessed. Homecoming. A touchy topic. We went together, but we hadn't talked about those events since. "I just want things to get back to the way they were before. When I was so sure it was you."

He paused, not having a clue as to what he should say next. "It could get back to normal, Kasey. Only if you let things fix themselves."

"What do you mean?"

"You're a very complex individual," he said quickly. "I don't know what you want."

"You," I want to scream. 

"I'm assuming your silence is cheering for me to go on." So he does, saying, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

The first time I'd ever gotten asked out. In a bathroom. At the worst sleep over I've ever attended. "Wait, what?"

"Huh? I thought - I thought you wanted me, Kase!" He wanted to yell, so he did. "Wow, it's just like before. Can't seem to make up your mind, can you?"

"Y-yes I can, actually! I want you... I just don't know when...just not now. I'm not ready. But I just really like-"

Before I knew it, it was already over. 

The kiss comes to me as a warning to shut up, and I greet it. I am puzzled - why did he even bother to kiss me? Wasn't I in the middle of pissing him off? It made no sense, but perfect sense all at the same time. I wanted to scream - to yell - at nothing at all, at the world for whatever problem I was causing our relationship to face.

He pulled away from me, my eyes still closed. It was then that I noticed his hands tightly gripping on my arms, and my head slightly tilted up to let him kiss me. He was so much taller than me, which made it more romantic.

"Why did you kiss me?" I had to ask.

"Well, were you expecting it?" He asked, smiling at me.

"No, not really."

"Then that's why."

Both of us were quiet for the rest of the night. Things still weren't quite made clear, but that small and gentle act was enough to set the record straight.

So now, I could lay in his arms openly, letting the warmth of his body heart surround me.

"Ya know, Kasey," a voice said. That voice happened to belong to Jasper. He hadn't even spoken a word in the longest time, and suddenly, his voice seemed foreign to me. "We never see your family here."

I broke out in a cold sweat. "Oh, I guess that's right." I nervously said. Why would you bring up such a random topic, though?

"Yeah, actually, that's accurate," Claudia added. "Where are they all the time?"

"I dunno, at work, maybe?" I tried to say, not totally sure of it myself. "My dad's an engineer, and my mom's a trauma nurse so-

"Well, at least wherever they are, they are still married, and not divorced, like mine." Confessed Hazel. 

Wow.

Way to go, Hazel.

Just when you got a terrible thing out of your mind, someone is there to put it right back in.

I said nothing. I just sat, staring, with tears in my eyes. Talking felt overrated at the moment, and unneeded. There were no words to explain how inaccurate her statement was.

Once those thoughts and words register in my mind, I get up, and just can't stop. I can't stop myself from exiting the room as quick as I could.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I didn't know!" I heard Hazel call out behind me. But I just kept walking, but I wanted to stop. I wanted to turn around and say it's okay, that I'm okay, but I just couldn't. There was just way too much anger and sadness buried down for me to say those words.

Because the truth is, it's not okay. And I'm not okay.

"Hey," A voice said from the doorway. My heart skipped a beat; the voice came out of no where. I already knew that it was Finn. He was the only guy who knew where my bedroom was, because his brother and my brother were best friends.

I greeted him with raw red eyes, and croaked, "Hi, Finn."

"Do you want to talk?" He asked, knowing I was still a bit sensitive. "About...the thing?"

"There's not much to say. What's done is done."

"True, but everything's going to be okay. Okay?"

"Okay."

"...Do you trust me?"

"...Yes...yes I think I do."

He paused awkwardly.

"Are you going to be okay here alone?"

"I guess so..."

But Finn knew me too well that he saw through my lie. He snuggled into my bed warmly, and I was too weak and depressed to protest against it. He wrapped a warm arm around me, letting the darkness of the night consume us.

I closed my eyes gently, feeling the warmth of Finn's body heat against me. Everything was going to be okay. It had to be.