Suicide Season

Chapter three

My pencil pushed onto the paper roughly as I scribbled down my feelings

"Alone.
It would be all better if everyone was alone.
No heartbreak.
No sadness.
No peer pressure.
No pain.
But..
That world would be a twisting fairytale,
There always one person who overrides it.
Slowly,being alone becomes numb
You enjoy the silence and count you're blessings."

Tears threaten to fall from my eyes,why was I always pushed passed my boundaries,why was I never understood,it's not fair why can't I just end it all now.My eyes were sunken in with bags hanging from below the tears that were sliding down my cheeks.Running to the bathroom I pulled out my sanity my sweet encouragement,slowly the metal sunk into my flesh ripping the fibers apart and letting the metallic color flow freely.My hand slashed away,slice after slice,my body became numb,and my head was pounding.Slowly,I withdrew my blade and placed it down as I cleaned my wounds and got ready for the day.
Quickly I pulled on a pair of classic cut out knee,black skinny jeans,and a fading vaguely readable,Bring me the horizon teeshirt, Pulling on my hoodie I made sure that the bandages underneath were hidden from the naked eye.

The world was cold,as snowflakes fell from the sky,and the trees were layered with snow.The concrete was slippery and mushed over,because many people walked over it.The sky seemed to be an endless black hole,my eyes darted towards the school building,I rushed to my locker,my hands fidgeting with the locker combination,slowly a hand slammed itself onto my locker,which quickly shut.As I looked up I saw no one at all,shaking off the imaginary action,I looked up again to see depression starting at me through closed eyelids. 
And that is how I ended up in the bathroom with no one other than Benjamin Paul Bruce.