Crimson Journal

1-9-1

Aubrey is....something else.

Right when you think you have her figured out or know her well enough, she goes and does something so bold and awe inspiring. Something that you wouldn't expect from someone as reserved and soft spoken like her.

Like today for instance:

Nobody noticed where she was first. We were just hanging around, talking, or sleeping. Whatever we could do to pass the time. Some people were climbing the wall. Because the walls, in what I guess you can call a common room, aren't four straight walls. But an assortment of walls layered on top of the other in different ways. Making them perfect for climbing. But the climbing walls don't reach the ceiling where the window is. They stop and four regular straight walls keep going up.

What alerted everyone everyone to where Aubrey was was a dull thump as her satchel fell on top of a sleeping girls head. So the sleeping girl woke up looked to see where it had come from than began to yell. Catching everyone's attention.

"Look! Aubrey's touching the window!" Now everyone began to look up towards the ceiling.

And sure enough, there was Aubrey not just touching but holding on to it! A murmur of excitement and worry came out as everyone just stared at Aubrey. Than we all began to cheer as we comprehended at this feat that no else has done before. And at the possibility of actually having a way of escaping from this place!

Something was not quite right though. Aubrey was squirming and moving in increasingly more wild movements. Kicking her legs quickly and sporadically. No one could tell what was wrong. So we started climbing up the walls.

As we got closer we could pick out some panicked cries comeing from her general direction. The closer we got the more the shrieks began to sound more like pleas. Until finally it became clear what she was trying to tell us; she was going to fall soon if she continued to hold on to the window!

People started to climb up faster till some got to the ledge nearest to her. Geronimo, Felix, Carly, along with Bryan had gotten there first. And were yelling instructions at her that either added on or contradicted the others. More people got to the ledge and started shouting out instructions that helped none. Until, finally, they all stopped and began to actually formulate a plan on what to do before instructions began to be yelled out once more.

"Swing backwards and let go!-."

Swing backwards!!"

"We'll catch you...maybe!-"

"Don't say that-"

"Swing forward and aback than-"

"Don't let go!"

So on and so forth until finally Aubrey shouted back that she knew what to do now.

Everyone was silent as we watched as she began to swing her body back and forth.

I remember kinda just standing there, a silent observer as seemingly everyone around me fidgeted nervously.

Thoughts about what might happen next flying through my brain. Contemplating the chances of her making it. The what if scenario of what would have happened if we had let Aubrey let go and caught her on the ground. The other what if scenario of if we hadn't noticed her in time. What if she died? What if she got seriously injured? Questions like that and more continued to fill my head as I just stood there and silently watched.

With one more backwards swing, she let go .

People rushed forward to catch her as she flew towards them. Catch her they did. She was shaking but calmed down after a minute.

Slowly we all climbed back down to the ground. People then started asking her a flurry of questions all at once.

"How did you do that?!"

"I jumped.

"Why DID you do that?"

"Can you do it again!?"

"Are you insane?"

"No I was just-"

"Did you find anything!?"

"Why did you drop your bag on my head?"

"Were you scared?"

"Did you find a way-"

"Stop asking and let her speak if you want to know!" Bryan yelled, silencing everyone.

Aubrey spoke after that.

Pretty much the only reason she had for climbing up the wall and jumping to the window was because she was bored. Feeling disinterested with her trinkets and somewhat anti-social. She had decided to just go and climb a wall since that was always fun for her. Telling no one she began to climb up a random wall and kept climbing until she got to the ledge where she took a break. After awhile Aubrey noticed the window and could kinda see that it protruded a bit out of the ceiling and had a small indent that maybe someone could grab a hold on. And from that thought she backed up and with a running start, jumped towards the window and grabbed on to it. She was ecstatic until Aubrey realized that she was begging to slip and started to panic. Yelling at us did no good so she dropped her satchel in the hopes that someone would look up and see her. The rest is history.

"What was the window like?" Bryan asked after she finished talking, "Is there anyway of escape? Did you see anything of the outside?"

Aubrey's voice was small when she answered,"The window... It's not a window. It's just another stupid light."

Just another light. Another stupid light in this place of light.

Am I strange to think that this is somewhat ironic? Everyone thought that that window was our way out of this place. But in reality our only escape from this place of never ending light was all along just another light.

...Is it bad to want the lights to go off? To bring the dark along with the promised death that comes with it. Just so that we don't have to live this living death any longer? Because right now, I just want it to come and take us away from here so that at least we would be going somewhere. Somewhere that's not here.

 Even if that place is death.