I Went to the Artist Zone

Feels

I have very much been all angst upped about the lovely spider queen, Vriska. Enjoy a visual and a short one shot. (Also maybe spoilers??? I think only spoilers if you haven't finished Act 5 Act 1)

She tried to not let things get to her. She was supposed to be strong, and she would be damned if she was going to let people think otherwise. Her goal was to become an even more powerful troll than Mindfang, and she was going to accomplish that. But sometimes... Sometimes things did get to her.

She had never really wanted to be bad and ruthless. She had to feed her luscus, so she kept killing. It was horrible, and even disproportionate to the way other trolls acted, but her luscus had to be fed. Maybe that was the start of all these feelings now. She was raised by something ruthless, so she became ruthless. She was shown harshness, and that was all she could give back. It wasn't like she wanted to be that way. Never did she ask to be commiting so much bloodshed. It wasn't what she wanted. What she really wanted, on some deep deep level, was affection.

That's why it hurt right now. Even the softest of softie she knew didn't like her. Well, why would he when all she had done was yell at him and hurt him? She had known it was awful, but she wasn't entirely sure how else to get him to notice. She was jealous of his happiness and his warm affection. For one moment she wanted to know what it was like, but she had ruined it. The one place she thought she could find warmth wasn't open to her, and it hurt despite how much she didn't want it to. She wasn't weak. This shouldn't bother her. So what if he didn't like her? She was ten times more likely to live on when he would be culled. It shouldn't matter.... It shouldn't... matter. What does it matter if the want for kindness wasn't met? She didn't need kindess to get by. She was strong. She could stand by herself just fine. She didn't need someone by her side. It would only slow her down and make her weak. She was going to out do Mindfang without someone by her side. Wanting kindess and affection was only going to get her culled.

___________________________________________________

AN: Whoops that was kinda more angsty than I meant (probably because it's also a vent piece), but I think that deep down what Vriska really wants is affection. She has known harshness for a long time, and I think that's why she was attracted to Tavros and John. They're pretty nice people and she craved to feel what it was like to be nice.