Chapter 1

Sir smiled at me as he brought the sharp tool steadily towards my hip. Slowly and carefully he pushed the razor into my almost translucent skin. It stung and burned causing pain more than it should have. I closed my eyes as the blade smoothly carved intricate designs...and that's when I screamed. The pain so instant, it was unbelievable how something so small can bring me the most agonizing pain I've felt here so far. He's cut me before with a bigger duller blade that dug deeper than the sharp tool he was using now, but still the small blade hurt so much more. Carefully he cut, oh so carefully his breathing shallow, eyes unblinking, and his movements precise. The razor cut effortlessly as his deep, scratchy voice chanted words from a language I've never heard before.

Over the years I've learned to hold my emotions in. Showing my despair only made things worse. I built my emotional walls, put so much into them, these screams shouldn't be escaping my lips.

All signs of anguish excited Sir. He loves the sound of it and when I fight back, he likes knowing he can do whatever he wants and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I used to fight...until the punishments became more sadistic. So I quit fighting and showing my emotions. I wanted to live and fighting back or crying out would only bring my end so much faster.

Hatred burned through me...I despised this man with every fiber of my being. I wish he would just die...no, not just die. For Sir it would have to be a long painful death, one where I could watch his suffering just as he has watched mine. I wanted him to be frightened...no, horrified by what I do to him. I promised myself then that if I didn't die by Sir's hands that I would be the one to end his life.

All I could do was cry out in pain. My screams were so loud they echoed off the high white ceiling and long cement walls. The only things in the room with us were the small metal table he kept his tools on. The mound of concrete where he chained and whipped me, the whips, knives and other such tools hanging on the far wall, and the tall wooden object that I was now hanging from. The place stunk of stale blood and sweat giving the room a dark and foreboding feel, even though it was lit by fluorescent lights.

My wrists and ankles hurt from being tied up too tightly and so long, my arms growing numb from them being held over my head for such a long time. A pool of blood on the cement below me grew larger as the hours passed filling the place with the smell of copper. The bright crimson of it contrasted with the dull grey of the cement floor. Leaving bright spots that obscured my vision.

The only thing that kept me from completely losing it were the words my first and last lover whispered seconds before my captor put a bullet through his head. "Don't let him destroy you. Live, please...God just live...Get out of here. If not for yourself then for me. Escape and find love...Promise me. Promise me and hold true to your promise." He was gasping while I stared into his deep blue eyes.

I cried out remembering what came next and found something that hurt more than the sharp tool that was still cutting into my skin. Shattered love, not shattered because of him or me, but because of the selfish ass that refused to share me. Because Sir is sick and twisted and gets off on my pain. I screamed now, not because of pain but for the love I lost.

Sir laughed as he stood to search for a new blade on the table beside him. He rubbed his body against mine so I could feel the bulge in his pants. It made me sick knowing that my screams turned him on. He brought his face up to mine to give me a kiss but I spit in his empty brown eyes, the look he gave me now sent chills down my spine. Still I smiled at him as he pulled back knowing that was a stupid move, but I felt satisfaction knowing that I ruined his pleasure.

He growled wiping the spit off his face with the sleeve of his white shirt. He grabbed my hair in his fist and whispered to me, his dry lips brushing against my ear "You haven't stopped anything, bitch, you only made it worse." He turned and found the blade he was looking for, smiled, and started cutting and chanting again.

I've been screaming for so long my voice is hoarse and my throat is sore. I was shocked when the pain suddenly receded. I opened my eyes to see what he was planning to do. When I saw what Sir was doing my eyes grew wide. He had a tool in his hand the tip was pointed, it made a hissing noise, and it was starting to glow a bright red. He sat it down on the table, opened a drawer, and pulled out a vial of a white, shining, powdery substance.

Through blurry eyes I watched as Sir put the substance into a bottle that had a small hole at the top of it. I tried to struggle as he lowered it to the open wounds on my side. He put a small amount on one of his many cuts. It stung and sizzled as the substance turned to a bright blue liquid. I closed my eyes trying to block out the pain. Then I felt warmth on my side just before it started burning. The pain quickly multiplied, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't scream, I couldn't do anything but let the tears flow. There was so much pain, all I wanted was for it to stop...to go away. Anything was better than this.

It must have been hours since Sir started cutting, chanting, and burning. I lost track of time, it all blurring together into one massive flood of pain.

I couldn't do anything but wait for his torment to ease, my consciousness to fade...for it all to end.

That is all I have. My hope is gone, it was taken from me years ago when Sir and his men abducted me. It first started to fade when he slaughtered my family. One by one he took them from me and as he killed them, he made me watch. He stole them from me just so I wouldn't dream that someday I might return home.

He has taken my family, my friends, my lover, and my life. He's taken everything from me and yet he kept finding more to steal.

The agony eased enough for me to breathe. I felt Sir lean in close and his breath on my ear as he whispered. "You will be mine, all mine and there will be nothing you can do. I'll control your every breath, every move, and I'll hear your every thought. You won't be able to disobey me. You'll be my weapon...You'll never escape."

I screamed like I never have before. Sir couldn't have me; he has taken enough. He can't have anymore.

Sir went back to cutting and burning. Too much pain...Too much sorrow...Too much hate. It all ran together into a massive, burning, ball of hell.

It kept building until I couldn't hold it any longer. I could feel it slowly start to implode. Every small and large feeling building up until I felt I could hold it no longer. I tried to let go, but I couldn't let it out. There was just too much emotion. Since I couldn't let it out I took it all in. It almost felt like I was on fire and my being was being sucked through a small hole that kept growing smaller. Slowly things began to fade. The hurt, sorrow, desperation all leaving.

I prayed Sir went too far, I prayed to die, and as I prayed I slowly lost consciousness.