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the pouring rain looked like a shower of tears from the eyes of the clouds, softly falling on the ground with a light, musical sound.
"jeongguk," the name fell out of mouth in a hoarse whisper, as the sound of house keys jingling echoed in the illuminated room. i averted my eyes to the raven haired boy who entered our apartment complex. he immediately stenched the room with the heavy aroma of smoke.
he wore the same white shirt and ripped jeans i had last seen him wearing.
that was two days ago.
"where the hell have you been?" i inquired quietly, as opposed to the anger that coursed throughout my body. i hoisted myself up from the chair i was in, massaging my temple hidden under my pink fringe to relieve my pain.
he merely groaned quietly in response, rolling his big almond eyes. the younger male tipsily walked passed me with heavy footsteps, and ignored how he shoved my shoulder.
i quickly grabbed his exposed wrist tightly, causing him to halt and shake his arm in pain.
"jeongguk!"
"y-yoongi hyung, it hurts." he stammered, looking intensely into my eyes and knitting his brows.
i had finally snapped. i was sick and tired of his countless lies, the terrible ways he had mistreated me, the lack of communication and the pain. all of my painful days alone.
"have you not realised it yet?" i asked, voice cracking and slightly cocking my head to the side.
"what?" jeongguk asked, blinking. he was oblivious to the consequences of his actions.
no words came out of his mouth. he stood there in agonising silence and acted as if i was the villian and he was the victim. does that make any sense?
"you've broken everything." i said with a quivering voice. i loosened my grip on his wrist, deciding to let go.
"our trust, our friendship, our love?"
"shut up." he mumbled so quietly it was practically inaudible.
"excuse me?" i blurted, flustered at the cruel words he continued to say. he rubbed his wrist, where there was already a huge red mark from when i had hurt him before.
i fought back the urge to go get ice for him and stay by his side until it healed, but to avail.
"just shut up!" he shouted, grabbing a picture frame and aggressively throwing it across the room. the glass frame shattered to pieces, just slightly missing anywhere near jeongguk.
he quickly maneuvered his way past me, running outside and leaving the door wide open. little clear droplets splashing as he trudged away, leaving me in dismay and discomposure.
i struggled to look forward because the tears i had threatened to hold back finally fell, blurrying my vision.
one fell. two fell. they just began to multiply at what seemed, endlessly. as some trickled into my mouth, leaving a salty taste, some went past my fingers, softly falling to the ground just like the rain poured.
i wheezed and hiccuped, repeatedly muttering the same name repeatedly as if it was a mantra, and that he would return, realising that i tremendously care for him.
"jeongguk!" i screamed, crouching to the sloven floor and clenching bundles of my hair in agony.
all the warnings and questions i've ever asked him weren't in vain. they weren't at all. they were to make sure i knew he was safe. clearly, he doesn't feel safe with me.
i realised how to fix this mess.
i rushed to the bedroom and found the silver suitcase he bought for me, reminiscing the warmful words he spoke to me.
"use this when you go on holiday, yoongi hyung!"
except this time, it'll be a holiday for quite a while.
—i got out of the taxi cab, aimlessly proceeding to where my preposterous plan was located.
so, there i stood in front of goya motel, ready to leave him for good.
unpacking my bag in the compacted room and pulling out my underwear that jeongguk would always steal and wear, an ominous premonition seethed in my throat.
i hope it is only temporary. everything's the past.
i shook off the urge of attempting to reach out to jeongguk, deleting his contact and turning my phone on silent, in spite of the gloom-ridden intuition.
