(FUNNY)
* When nothing goes right, go left instead!
* I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
* Real men don't take selfies.
* Need an ark? I Noah guy.
* There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking.
* A blind man walks into a bar... And a chair... and a table.
* I don't always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!
* Yesterday, I changed my WiFi password to "Hackitifyoucan"; today, someone changed it to "ChallengeAccepted".
* So, you're on Instagram? You must be an amazing photographer.
* I haven't done this in a while so excuse me.
* I know I'm lucky that I'm so cute.
* Onions make me sad. A lot of people don't realize that.
* I'm your worst nightmare.
* Hey girl, feel my sweater. Know what it's made of? Boyfriend material.
* If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.
* I think you are lacking vitamin me!
* What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
* Ladies, please.
