RANT | a diary

BOYS.

Alright, kiddos, time to have a little chat.

SO, if you didn't already know, I'm a girl. This being said, I love boys. Like, seriously, boys are everything. With their cute lil jawlines and their irresistibly soft hair and long, pretty eyelashes, boys pretty much make my world spin. 

BUT. 

They're so fucking STUPID. 

Honestly, I don't know why I even try with boys because they don't know how the FUCK to date a cute girl. I'm not an unattractive person; just gonna throw it out there. I'm in no way "ugly", whatsoever. (even though ugly is a myth and none of you cute lil beans are ugly) SO TELL ME WHY THE FUCK I CAN'T GET A BOY WHO LIKES ME TO DATE ME?????????? LIKE ARE YOU BLIND OR DEAF OR DON'T KNOW WHAT GIRLS LIKE???????

So let me summarize this whole scenario for you so that you're informed:

I've had a crush on this guy since i was in the FIFTH GRADE. He used to have this beautiful, flowy, Justin Bieber (Beiber? Shit, I don't know)  fetus-type hair thing going on, and boyyyyyy that really got them panties soakin' back then. 

So long story short, six years pass and I still have a crush on this boy. He is GORGEOUS he's such a beautiful golden egg. He has dark brown hair and CRYSTAL FUCKING BLUE EYES. Like, you could swim in that shit. His hair is grown out a little bit so it flows (it's beautiful), and he has a little baby chin-beard. He's so cute and I just wanna wrap him up like a baby burrito and cuddle him.

SO BACK IN APRIL, April 20th, to be exact, I was at a birthday dinner with some friends. One of my friends was dating his younger brother at the time, (the older is a year ahead of us), and she mentioned that it would be cool if I started getting to know him so that we could all double date eventually. I mentioned that I didn't have his phone number, so that's where the conversation kind of died off. 

Later that night when I got home, I got a message from another friend, and when I opened it, IT WAS THIS BOYS CONTACT INFORMATION. LIKE WHAT KIND OF SORCERY.... THE FUCK?? I texted the number, and immediately after we introduced ourselves, we had the best fucking conversation.

Flash forward to June 3rd, the first night of summer holiday. I get a message asking why we fell off (we had discontinued communication because I thought he lost interest) and I honestly didn't know what to say, so I just told him that I would start texting him more often. 

After that night, we started communicating constantly every day. After around a week, I got him to tell me how he felt about me, AND HE SAID THAT HE WAS INTO ME. YOU GUYS I NEVER GET BOYS SO THIS WAS A BIG FUCKING DEAL LIKE I HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON THIS BOY FOR YEARS AND HE WAS INTO ME.

So we started making up cute little nicknames for each other and things were so dandy. 

THEN

HE

WANTS

TO

SEND

MIXED

SIGNALS

Now, let me tell you how fucking confused I am over this shit. DO YOU WANT ME OR NOT DUDE I CAN'T WAIT FOREVER. Or maybe I can he's so perfect ugh. But DAMMIT I HATE BOYS.