As I Am.

Trying

I woke up in a mass of sheets and blankets with my hair a mess. Today I felt different. Energized. Electrified. Like something was going to happen. It was amazing. I didn't hear their fighting this morning. I could smell bacon sizzling from the kitchen. No one came to feed me pills this morning. I sleepily pad out into the kitchen to find my father cooking at the stove whistling a tune and my mother at the table with a cup of coffee. "Good morning honey. How'd you sleep?" My mother asked me, looking up from her coffee. "Want some coffee? Or we could go to Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts of you'd prefer. I kinda want a donut." My father gasped as she said that.. "BUT I'M COOKING HOW DARE YOU PEASANTS TALK ABOUT OTHER FOOD IN MY PRESENCE!" He mock yelled. "Okay okay only coffee" my mother said, laughing. "Jade go get dressed and fix your hair. You look like a porcupine." I snorted and walked back to my room with a small smile and a glimmer of hope. Things were finally going back to normal.

When I got back to my room I shut my door and mulled things over. Things haven't been this normal since I was a child. Or not that I can remember. But my memory hasn't been the best since that day so I wouldn't really know. I breathed in the smell of vanilla and cinnamon and pumpkin spice. It's fall after all. Or is it spring? I don't remember even though I was outside yesterday. I peek out my curtains and saw the wind making brightly colored leaves spin in circles. "Just like my thoughts...." I shook that sentence out of my head and turned towards my dresser. I pulled out a couple different pairs of leggings and warm sweaters and mulled over my choices. I eventually chose a large black knitted sweater and gray leggings with black swirls. I ran my brush through my knotted and tangled hair and left it down around my shoulders.

I grabbed a pair of studded black Doc Martins and walked out to the entry way where my mother was waiting for me. I stopped to pull on my boots and impatiently fidgeted while waiting for my mother. She just chuckled and said, "Well if you're so impatient to get outside then why don't you go out to the car?" I smiled and practically ripped the door off the hinges. Well not really, but you know what I mean. I stood outside and everything looked bright. Lifelike. Real. Beautiful. The surrounding trees had colorful leaves that were being blown off the branched by the wind, creating a cascade of color. The piles of leaves were useless as the wind scattered them and children jumped into them. I laughed and listened to the crackle of the dried leaves and leaned against the car door. I saw my mother walking out the door and I faced the car door, waiting for her to get out here and enjoy the beauty with me.

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I'm sorry for not updating for months and months, I've had a lot going on.... So here's what I have so far, It ain't good but it's what I have.. I know the tone of this chapter is different than the first, but I'll explain it a bit in the next. Enjoy my lovelies!