Finally Finding Love •{Ambrose fanfic}•

Chapter 15 - Sorry Has Different Meanings

Chloe's POV

I stand from the chair, still very dizzy. I try walking to the back door, but I trip over my own feet, almost planting my face in the floor. Thankfully, Dean–Jon! whoever the hell he is–was there to catch me. He grabs my elbows, helping to steady myself.

"I got this!" I hiss at him, shoving him away from me. "I don't need you!"

"Chloe... Please let me explain," he begs, his eyes pleading with me.

"Does she really want to hear you now, Ambrose?" Roman asks, tilting his head to the side.

Dean turns to face Roman. "Go. Away," he seethes, shaking. "I don't know where you came from, but I would leave before I call the cops."

"Oh!" Roman tries looking offended. "What have I ever done to you? I believe I should watch this scene unfold... I mean I was keeping your secret for as long as I can remember."

"What?" I ask, putting my hands on my hips. "Roman knew about this 'secret' but I didn't?"

Dean turns around and looks concerned. "Chloe, like I've said before, let me explain. I can make all this confusion and pain go away... Give me a chance."

"No," I hold a finger up at him, "let me explain something to you."

"You don't have to do that," Dean says, his eyes soft.

Roman chuckles as he sits on a chair. "Just let her do it. I want to see what her pretty, little mouth has to say."

I should be terrified that Roman is in the same exact building–more importantly, inside the same room–that I'm in, but I'm not. It's crazy to think that the man that destroyed your life has no affect on you after your long lost love has come back–in my case, confess his lies. It's amazing that confusion, love, and heartbreak can mask the feelings of fear and distress. I couldn't wait for Roman to come back so I can put him in jail, take him to court, but I need to know who Dean Ambrose really is. At this moment, I don't care that Roman reigns is in the same room I'm in, all I care about right now is trying to figure this all out... What am I going to do next?

"Dean... Jon... Whoever is in your head at this moment, let me tell you something," I say, staring straight into Dean's eyes. Taking a deep breath, I continue, "Moving on from someone you loved is a constant battle, for many reasons. One being the loss in your life. Two being the huge hole in your heart. It physically and mentally drains you because you're constantly fighting back memories and feelings–good and bad. That's why at two in the morning, when you're all alone, you become weak, you're so tired of fighting it. And then"–I sniffle as tears flow from my eyes–"the memories come back and the longing returns and suddenly you want to pick up the phone and you want to hear their voice and be cradled in their arms, but you don't do it. You don't do it because in the morning, you'll have to go back to being strong again and you'll have to go back to fighting it, and a phone call wouldn't change anything anyway."

He looks down at his feet, his shoulders moving up and down in deep breathes. I wipe my tears away, but more keep crawling out of my tired eyes. "Chloe," he starts, still keeping his gaze locked on the floor, "I'm sorry."

I scoff at him. "Sorry isn't going to cut it this time, Ambrose. What you need to do is decide whether or not you are sorry because the way I see it, 'sorry' is just a word and another lie." I walk up to him, lifting his head so he can stare into my eyes. "And when you are ready to say sorry, I want you to prove it to me. I want you to beg for your forgiveness in such a way I won't be able to say no." I move his bangs out of his eyes, realizing he also has tears in his eyes. "When you're ready to say sorry, come and talk to me. Bring your best words and all your love. Because now, I don't want to see you," I push his head down so he's looking down at the floor. "And I don't want to talk to you. When you're ready to talk about whatever we have, whatever we share, I'll be ready, and you can trust me on that because I've never broken our trust like you have."

I take one of his hands and squeeze it in a friendly way–I don't want to be too harsh on him, though I think I already was. He squeezes mine back, very gently. I let go of his hand and leave the room, flipping Roman off on the way.

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Dean's POV

What is wrong with me? I knew this was going to come back and bite me right on the ass, but I decided to make the worse decision in the world. Now, I feel this hole is so deep in my heart that I think it will eventually kill me, that is until Chloe walks back into my life again to fill up the hole again. I had no idea this is the way she's been feeling for the past couple of years. I feel 100 times worse than I should.

Because of this I have to show her how sorry I am. How am I supposed to do that? I have the ring still, but would she really want to marry me after all this happened? If I was her I wouldn't want to be anywhere near myself.

I wish I can turn back time and stop myself from being a stupid idiot and lying to Chloe. Everything would be so much different if I wasn't such a lying asshole. Roman and I would probably still be friends, Chloe and I would probably be married by now and hopefully waiting to have kids. But because of my shitty mouth, I hate Roman and Roman hates me. Chloe hates me, and wants nothing to do with a lying loser like myself.

"Wow, that was intense," Roman says, shaking his head in disbelief.

"If you leave now, I won't kick you in the throat or take one of those chairs and choke you with it," I say, looking at the floor, still thinking about Chloe.

"Okay," Roman sighs, "I'll leave. But I have some advice for you," he pauses, gathering his thoughts. "Second chances are not the same as forgiveness."

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Chloe's POV

I walk out of the elevator, shivering because I'm so cold. There's nothing like your boyfriends sweatshirt you can wear to warm yourself back up, but wait–I forgot that my love is a lying cheat that doesn't know how to keep a relationship.

I'm so angry at him, but I also feel so hurt. I don't know how he could have kept this type of secret for so long. I don't understand how that didn't bother him keeping that from me.

Whatever, he's not worth talking shit about. What I need is a hot bath and a good night's sleep.

I open my hotel door, surprised that it's not locked. Seth said he felt more safe when it was locked... Was he also lying to me?

Of course not! Seth wouldn't do that to me! He's the only friend that I have right now, and at this moment, I'm going to need his comfort. He's going to go bonkers when I tell him what Dean told me at the pool... And that Roman is here.

"Shit!" I curse, running down the hallway and stopping at Seth's room. I go to open his door, but I stop myself. "What the hell?" I whisper confused, putting my ear up to his door so I can hear better. "Is he watching porn?" I ask as I listen to the many moans and grunts coming from his room.

I set my hand on the doorknob and open the door slowly. I peak around the door, and gasp instantly. "Seth? What the hell are you doing?" I scream at him as he hovers naked over a clothless Paige.