Living on Borrowed Time

Chapter Eleven

I slept sounder than I expected to, considering there was a stranger in my bed. In fact, I slept so deeply that I didn't wake up until the sunlight started to shine through my window. That didn't usually happen because of my blackout curtains, but I was so consumed by Charlie last night that I didn't even consider closing them, so the brightness of my room was unnerving for the first few moments.

Before my brain could switch on and begin to panic, I turned my very naked body towards the man lying next to me, and drank in his appearance. I just wanted a second to really see him before this all got a little too real—which I was certain that it was going to.

Charlie.

I still couldn't believe that even happened, I couldn't believe that I'd had sex. If he hadn't stayed the night, if he had scurried home right away afterwards, I would have been tempted to believe that I imagined the entire thing. Me—Lara Rogers—the person who was too shut off to even speak to anyone not that long ago had slept with a very gorgeous guy. And more than that, it was actually amazing. It hadn't been as awful as I'd imagined it would be when I was younger, I'd really enjoyed it. Maybe even enough to do it again...

Although the prospect of him seeing so much of me, of being so vulnerable in the cold light of day did fill me with a cold sensation of dread. Last night it had been spontaneous, an exciting spur-of-the-moment thing. Planning a repeat was a little too much for me.

I listened to him lightly snoring, clearly comfortable in the bed of someone he didn't know very well. Again, the thought went through me that he must have been quite experienced at the one night stand to be as calm as he was.

Yep, there it was.

The repulsion that I should have felt last night had finally arrived. It hit me hard that I'd just willingly given my virginity to someone I didn't know at all, someone that probably slept with anyone and everyone, and that I was just another conquest to. All because he'd been kind to me. That was so unlike anything I'd ever done before, and I was beginning to regret it. What had felt like a little bit of fun, started to become an intense moment of idiocy in my mind.

What sort of girl got naked with someone she'd only just learnt the name of? What did that say about me? Was that really the sort of person that I wanted to be?

I slid carefully out of the bed and raced into the bathroom, trying desperately to tiptoe. I didn't want the first thing him to wake up to, to be my naked, flawed body. In the heat of passion, with the dark covering us both, I didn't mind. I didn't even think about it. Now, it was all that I could focus on. Plus with my mind such a mess, there was no way I'd be able to form a decent conversation with him. Facing him now was going to be embarrassing enough, without me being a stuttering fool to add to that.

I stared at my tired, haggard reflection in disgust. My hair was all shaggy, tousled and messy—but actually it didn't look as bad as it felt—and the rest of me just looked worn out. And a little stressed. I scrubbed my teeth ferociously, washing my face at the same time, trying to make myself look as presentable as possible. At least if I looked like a human being, I would be one step closer to seeming normal. That left me with the awful task of trying to find something to wear. I couldn't go back in my bedroom naked; there was no way that I would be able to get away with that twice, I could just guarantee that I'd get caught. But in the bathroom, there were only my pre-worn pyjamas from the night before last. Not a sexy look, but then again, it wasn't like I had a lot of choice.

I sighed deeply, shoving them on, spraying myself with perfume as I did. I hated that I was so disorganised, that I didn't have a collection of clothes waiting for me in here, but then again I hadn't exactly been expecting to need them.