Memoirs of the Hood: Book One

Chasing Pavements

     It was 6 a.m and there I was laying in the bed, dressed in one of Darryl's shirts wondering where I went wrong? I had been the perfect wife for years and here I am wondering when he stopped loving me? Before last night Darryl hadn't touched me in three months and I craved him, all of him. I knew Darryl was cheating, but what I don't get is why he didn't just divorce me. The digital alarm on the nightstand sounded off and I shuffled out of bed and down the hall to Kylia's room. My baby looked so peaceful, she probably had no idea that her parents were falling apart. I made my way over to her bed and placed light kisses all over her face.
"Mama, stooppppp" she groaned out, attempting to cover her face.
"Come on Ky, you have to get ready for school" I said to her.
"I don't like school mama" she replied sitting up.
"And why is that baby?" I asked amused by her attitude.
"Because Ms. Gillihams breath stinks, and she always talk too close to my face" she said, making her upper lip curl in disgust.
"Well right about now, yours smells pretty bad too so how about we handle that" I joked with her, holding my nose. She laughed a little before hopping out of the bed and rushing towards the bathroom. I followed after her and to my surprise she was already started on her morning routine. After about ten minutes she returned to her room to get dressed. I laid out her white Polo button down, and dark denim skinny  jeans from the Gap. She pulled out her Minnetonka moccasin fringe boots and a olive green utility jacket. I took her hand and lead her to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I was busy rummaging for ingredients to notice Darryl come in. Her louder laughter is what made me turn around. He was tickling her while she kicked wildly and laughed. I couldn't lie Darryl was a damn good father, when he was around. I loved watching them interact, if he was just as good in the husband department we'd be alright. He picked her up before walking over to the freezer and pulling out the carton on Vanilla Homemade Brand ice cream and a spoon from the dish washer. He opened the carton and began to eat from it.
"Awww! Daddy, you're not supposed to eat ice cream for breakfast" she yelled.
"Daddy is an adult and can do whatever he wants" Darryl replied to her. I rolled my eyes at his lame ass excuse.
"Mommy! Tell daddy he's not supposed to do that" she said to me.
"You heard what she said" I said without even sparing him a glance.
"You're right" he said as he closed the container and placed it back into the freezer.
"See, that's why I love you mommy. You make everything right" Kylia said smiling big.
"I love you more baby, always" I said over my shoulder.
"Do you love Daddy too?" She asked, completely catching me off guard. My breath was caught in my chest and I sighed to release the congestion.
"Yes baby, I love daddy too" I said, I felt Darryl starring at me but I couldn't bring myself to look at him.
"Daddy, mommy said she loved you. Don't be mean, tell her you love her too? You do love mommy don't you?" She asked him, waiting for a response. Silence filled the kitchen. Eager to break the awkward tension, I forced a smile upon my face and turned to Kylia.
"Hey Ky, can you go upstairs and pick out a really cute outfit, shoes and a bag for mommy today? Also make up your bed and get some toys to take with you to your after school program" I said to her. She jumped down from the stool and ran up the stairs, I waited until I heard her upstairs to finally speak.
"What are we doing Darryl?" I asked, finally facing him. Tears stained my golden brown skin and my voice was shaky.
"Kira, stop being so naive. You know shit between us hasn't been all good in a long time. So save the fucking tears. Lets be adults and come up with an agreement. I'll start by saying I think we should separate." Darryl stated.
"Separate? Like a divorce? Darryl what am I supposed to do? You've always handled the expenses." I replied. He ran a hand over his face before he spoke.
"Look, you can stay here since this is the only place my daughter knows. I'll move out and I'll still handle the mortgage. I'll give you a biweekly allowance to go out and shop for Kylia. Only expenses you would have are Kylia's tuition and groceries." he explained.
"I guess you've been thinking about this for a while? Huh?" I asked while folding my arms across my chest.
"Don't go there Kira" he responded.
"So when are you leaving? And how are you going to explain this to our daughter?" I asked him.
"That's none of your business, that's a conversation between my daughter and I. I'll take her to school since I'm going that way too" he said leaving the kitchen.
I was able to hold it together up until this point. I never thought that Darryl would leave me, I know things were bad but I didn't think they would end like this. My entire world was being turned upside down. Darryl was my first everything, the only man I've ever known and loved, my child's father, and our provider; what was I to do now?
"What's wrong mama?" Kylia asked. I looked around noticing Darryl standing in the doorway of the kitchen.
"I'm just sad that my baby girl is growing up on me. You're getting so big, and beautiful." I replied while mustering up a smile and kissing her cheeks.
"Mamaaaa stop! I have to go to school" she giggled out. I released her cheeks and zipped up her jacket.
"Okay baby, have a good day. I love you" I told her.
"I love you too mommy" she responded hugging my legs. She released me and then ran to Darryl taking one of his hands and heading towards the door. I heard the door close, leaving me with nothing but my thoughts. I would have loved to sit around and sulk but I had to dust myself off and make a living for my baby girl.