Make it all stop.

All I am is numb.

Sitting and listening to your voice ring through my ears again. I knew you loved me. You said you did. But did you? My words have been said. The hollow feelings because you will never understand what my head feels. A war. A very very deadly war inside. I don't want to fall away. I don't want to leave and I truly want to stay.

Like flower the words are delicate. I embrace every one that goes running about my ears. I'm no longer in my room but I'm exposed. Naked brain and endless pain. I've said I'm ok over a thousand times but who are you to assume I'm telling the truth.

Now I'm in a room. Not my own where I am vulnerable to the monsters that scream day and night, one where I've almost taken my own life. The room is grand, light fixtures swinging from their small chains and ropes.

Take a walk to notice the darkness. Notice how -although beautiful- terrifying the room is. It proves to me that everything beautiful and perfect is broken and needs someone.

Feeling sadness and almost desperation take over my heart. My body knows it lost something. I already knew you were gone, you left me. I'm no good anymore. I'm to much to handle. But yet I look peek out of the corner of my eye and the my eyes are drawn to the ceiling and a rope is hanging. Travel my eyes further and I see a noose.

Then I see you. Ready to kick the box from under your feet so you cannot feel the pain anymore.

Screaming now and running towards your delicate figure. I'm hit by something. A wall. You've encased yourself in a box so you couldn't have anything change your pleading mind.

So there I sat, watching you kick that box and let your soul leave me.

Now all I am is numb.