Red Addiction

dermatillomania,

I feel compelled to write this now, and let me tell you why

I like to rip my fucking skin and I deserve to die.

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I wake up on my couch and with a curse word on my lips

an after-burn inside my throat and bruises on my hips.

the wall above the table paints a picture of the night

pinkish whiteish crescent moons made silver by the light

yellow red and purple brown on arms that fingers chase

and craters craters craters where there should be bits of face

idle hands of empty fears will want to smooth it out

carve away at years and years of evidence of drought.

crust is ripped and scarlet pools; another hole is hollowed

salt and scarlet mix as sure as ecstasy will follow.

this one too will heal, I know, like all the ones before

even as these thoughtless fearless fingers search for more 

-[-[-[-[-[-[-[-[-[-[-[-[-[-[-[-

I'm sorry I wrote. I'm drunk. and I need to lay down.

I guess I'll fuck off now. See you around.