Horoscopes [COMPLETED]

Part 125: "How to Summon the Signs"

Aries

- Prepare the largest bonfire you can make.

- Make Athena step inside the bonfire.

- Surround the fire with large marshmallows.

- Dump a truckload of ardor in the fire. 

- Then kill the fire with the tears of bullies.

Taurus

- Make a pyramid of money and gourmet food.

- Put Aphrodite in the center of the pyramid.

- Put many spotlights towards the pyramid.

- Chant a mantra of how stubborn you are.

- Then eat and enjoy the whole pyramid .

Gemini

- Get the fanciest writing tool you can find .

- Gather lots of strings that aren't attached.

- Surround yourself with influential people. 

- Make Apollo recite poetry about survival. 

- Then drink the fanciest wine you can get. 

Cancer

- Find the coziest and most relaxing sofa.

- Put Hermes comfortable sitting on the sofa.

- Get home cooked meals around Hermes.

- Add items with heavy sentimental value.

- Then sing a song about true lasting love.  

Leo

- Sit in a throne of gold in a room of mirrors.

- Pour gallons of confidence on your body.  

- Kindly borrow the lightning bolt of Zeus.

- Ask Zeus to temporarily turn into a lion.

- Then zap the lion with the lightning bolt.  

Virgo

- Move to a tranquilizing garden or farm.

- Make a ring of flowers and organic foods.

- Sew a tapestry about responsibilities.  

- Coszily wrap Demeter with the tapestry.

- Then put her in the ring and start lulling.  

Libra

- Surround Hephaestus with scented candles.  

- Boil many iron and jewel in a pot of adamantium.

- Pour the melted concoction on Hephaestus.

- Paint Rococo art all over Hephaestus.

- Then spray him with your favorite scent.

Scorpio

- Get a gallon of water from the Styx river.

- Prepare another gallon of enemies' blood.

- Then one more of trust, honor, and loyalty.

- Mix everything together and add chocolate.

- Then make Ares drink this concoction.

Sagittarius

- Be adventurous and get lost in the woods.

- Look for Artemis and a unicorn.

- Make an arrow out of the unicorn horn.

- Shoot Artemis right in the stomach.

- Then lotion Artemis' blood on the unicorn.

Capricorn

- Make a castle out of books and coffee.

- Put a hundred cats around the castle.

- Pour buckets of determination and hustle.

-  Tell Hades all your passion and dreams.

- Then place a large cat on Hades' lap.

Aquarius

- Destroy the whole government first.

- Collect all of the bodies Hera cursed.

- Drink a lot of independence and humanism.

- Stick many lit sparklers around the place.

- Then put Hera on top of the pile of bodies.

Pisces

- Go to any beautiful body of water.

- Make a blanket and pillow fortress nearby.  

- Put Poseidon inside the makeshift fortress.

- Soak everything with childhood memories.

- Then give Poseidon cookies and milk.

Source| Tumblr

What is this chapter? Seriously. Besides that, good luck on your journey to summon the zodiac god/goddesses!