Beautifully Painful

4.

I close the door after him and take a huge breathe .' Just breathe kat'. I kept thinking to myself . I finally turn towards him and his eyes are wide . "What ?..." I wonder why he's so shocked ."Um Kat your not wearing pants ." He stated . At that moment I felt so embarrassed . I felt my cheeks get hot and i knew I was as red as a tomato by now .

"I'll be right back ... make yourself at home.." i say then run to my room. I can't believe he just saw me without pants . That was super embarrassing. I grab my pajama pants and quickly slip them on . I then take a deep breathe and walk back to the living room.

"Its so ... beautiful in here , so big ..." he examines my apartment . "My dad , bought it for me" i explain . "Bought it for you ?... i didn't know you can do that... buy an apartment ..hmm.." he says looking out my tall glass windows over the city it's self. "Yea... he's in some big industries and he's well known . People will basically do anything for him .. it's pathetic ." I say with discuss clear in my tone .

"You don't like that your dads' well known ?" He looks confused . "No I don't.. he flaunts it too much .. its annoying .. and he tries to buy me with anything and everything .. how do you think I live here" I wave my hands in the air like a lunatic . "Anyways want something to drink ?" I ask due to my good manners . "Um..sure " he looks at me with wide eyes .

"So does your girlfriend know your here ?" I say with annoyance laced through the question ."kat...really ... come on ..." he pleads ."i'm sorry it just....I don't know ... I'm not happy with her anymore" he blushes a wave of guilt , clear as he rubs the back of this neck . What the heck... he's not happy so he just plans to linger her around . That's just messed up .

"Whats wrong with you ??!" Disbelieve and anger clear in my voice. "What?" He looks at me confused .

" YOU KNOW HOW MESSED UP THAT SOUNDS . MR.BRANDON ISN'T HAPPY SO HE JUST PLANS TO STRING ALONG HIS LITTLE GIRLFRIEND . you know .. i thought you were different . Sucks that I was wrong . Your just like the rest of those boys out there . One day you just don't feel it anymore and then poof y'all leave like nothing ever happen or y'all just cheat on us without having second thoughts like 'hey maybe this isn't right or-" i keep on going .

"STOP" he yells . "NO BRANDON I WILL NOT STOP . YOU JERK . Tell me .. have you already cheated on her ?" I stand with my hand on my hip and my chest rising and falling from the adrenaline already . " You don't even know my situation so if I were you id stop ." He calmly tells me .

Almost too calm . That calm were you just don't care anymore . It looks as though it hurts him some way, I can see it in his eyes . How they're a little too glossy and how his shoulders are sort of slump .

He makes his way to the door and simply says "goodnight Kat . Thanks for the useless lecture . Nothing new to my sense , I'm not the one you should be telling that to ."

Then he's gone out the door.

I instantly feel guilty. Only a few seconds later i reach to open the door to go after him but as i push my body through the frame i collide with someone else. it was him.

"you can..um..sleep on my couch..", i rush. He just looks down at me with those hard intimidating grey eyes. At this point both of us were very close and i was getting nervous so i had to say something. 

think.think.think

i start fumbling .. "i mean you can pull it out ... it turns into a bed..its like comfy and soft..and-" he cuts me off by placing his hand over my mouth.

"...don't feel obligated to let me stay..." he whispers. I can tell he's devastated.

"what, no i don't feel obligated its just, like, maybe we can watch a movie and have a few drinks... i don't know... that's only if you want to.."

"...um id just think we'd go to sleep i'm pretty tired.."he states coolly. i mean i don't want to say i got rejected from a movie night with a cute guy but um i got rejected from a movie night with a cute guy so i'm just going to act as if everything is okay. 

I awkwardly start walking towards the kitchen. "yea no problem i just offered just to break the ice but ill probably just grab a few snacks and head to my room" i say while grabbing a bag of baked Hot Cheetos . i look back to see Brandon looking toward the big wall window that leads to the city lights.

"it's a beautiful city with ugly people" he says softy. 

"i know.." i whisper and look down at my feet.

"well you're welcome to get anything if your hungry or want something to munch on.. ill just be in my room" i say softly. "thanks, goodnight kat.." he replies.

i turn to walk towards my room..i start thinking of everything that's going wrong and its to hard to even breathe. i get inside of my room, close the door with my back against it and slide down slowly while tears pile in my eyes and then just let go. Softly weeping letting all the tension and all the tears just go. i move to my bed and get under all my covers, when a few moments later i hear a soft knock.

"Hold on ill be right there.." i quickly wipe away my tears and dim my lights so its not as noticeable that I've been crying. As i'm getting off my bed he opens the door .."i know you're not okay..."he says firmly. "i'm fine, you don't know me", i snap back put of habit . " i know that i heard you crying over here, that's why i came to ask whats bothering you." He says strongly. 

"what the- you seriously don't know whats wrong ? "i ask as if its so obvious,i mean he barely met me its not his fault and at this point i'm just breaking. "I lost my best friend and my boyfriend in the same second in the same day all at once. they both broke my heart and I haven't found anything to cope with it or to be considered happy again without getting shitfaced at some frat party.." I say holding back tears."..at this point I don't even know what to do Brandon .I don't know how to help myself and its so irritating most of the time I feel lonely because I don't even have anyone that can help me or even just be there because i've literally lost everyone ..."

I continue weeping at this point. I cover my eyes because I dont know what else to do but shortly after I feel him pull me into a hug. we both ended up sitting on my bed and he just held me and let me cry into him.

Brandon POV

I know I hear her weeping but I don't know what to do . 

I get up from the couch and go to the end of the hall way where her door is to knock.

"hold on ill be right there.." i heard her say through her sniffles but I just open the door. See, I hadn't exactly plan what I was going to say so out with it I went.

"I know you're not okay.."I blurt out. "I'm fine, you don't know me" she looks at me squinting her eyes.

"I know that I heard you crying over here, that why I came to ask whats bothering you" i state strongly. She looks at me as if shes in disbelieve. 

"what the- you seriously don't know whats wrong?" she struggles with her words. She continues to rant as to why it's hard for her to remain happy or to find peace and its honestly heart-breaking. Someone like her so sweet, so kind shouldn't have to go through that heart ache. I know how it feels and it can truly destroy the way you look at things and she doesn't need to see that point of view, so negative. I cant help but pull her into a hug.

I can feel her grip my shirt as if it's physically hurting her and at his point I wish I can take it away. Not letting go, I sit on her bed making sure she sits down too. I know shes exhausted. Sure enough her sobs stop and shes asleep in my arms.

I look down at her just to see her cheeks red and wet from all the crying, her hair a mess and her fist still clenching onto my shirt. 

i slowly lay back with her on the bed ,dim the lights and let her sleep. i later fell myself falling asleep so i manage to slip away to go back to the living room to go to bed.