The Path of Time ★ [3] ✔ (EDITING)

The Killing Caves

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Had I made the wrong decision keeping my relationship with Eilian from Steve?

I couldn't stop thinking about it. I couldn't help but struggle under the weight of my own guilt. We'd promised never to keep secrets from each other. We'd promised we'd always be open with each other. And I'd broken the promise. He'd been so open about Peggy, and I hadn't returned the favour about Eilian. I kept something I should've been open about from him. It was a stupid decision to make, a decision I should not have made. And I regretted it more than he probably knew.

I didn't think mentioning the more than friendly relationship I had with Eilian was important. I'd never really considered it a relationship at all. He certainly didn't. The way he had always seen it, I was a fling; a pawn on his own personal chessboard. And when I'd finally opened my eyes about how he saw me, I saw him the same way. The guy was my mentor, my friend. My savior. Eilian didn't compare to how important Steve was in my life. Steve was much more than all those things. So much more. And I blew it.

"You okay?"

I blinked, the starting of the new conversation knocking me out of my thoughts. "What?"

"Are you okay?" Nat asked again, sitting behind me on the Parthenope. "You seem a bit out of it."

"I'm fine. Really, I am."

"No, you're not. I can tell that you're not." She leaned in closer to my ear. "Are you thinking about Steve?"

I swallowed. I didn't want to talk about it; the fight, the awkward silent treatment we were throwing at each other, the hot springs incident. I didn't want to talk about any of it. But if I didn't say something, Nat wasn't going to leave me alone.

"Did I make a mistake?" I wondered softly. "Had we moved too fast? Had...Had I fallen for the wrong–"

"Stop," she interrupted. "You didn't make a mistake. You hadn't moved too fast. You have not fallen for the wrong person." She sighed, grasping for her next words carefully. "We all knew that your relationship with Steve was gonna complicated. You're both two very different people. The strongest link you two share is that you both know pain, and that's not what you should build a relationship on." She gripped my shoulder. "Listen to me, we're all under pressure here, you especially. If Steve cared, and I know the hell he does, he'll give you your space for now, because you're gonna need it. An entire race is relying on us to save it. There's no time for relationship troubles now. Deal with it when we get home."