wet dream: you kiss me and you mean it. wet dream: you stab me through my sternum and you mean it. wet dream: you do anything to me, and you mean it. i'm not afraid of pain or delirium. do what you will, and i'll be happy forever. just don't leave me alone.
(jasmine bought five dresses today, one for everyday of the week. lace and cotton in shades of pink, green, blue. no black. i asked her why she'd waste all these pretty things on school, and she told me that you don't get to choose who loves you; she'd give the people who did what they want. i thought that maybe that meant she'd start wearing the bracelets i made her for her birthday; the ones with acrylic gold swiped over the middles and fake crystals glued in the shapes of hearts. but i was too scared to ask, and the bracelets continue live in the bottom level of her closet, with the wrapping still on it.)
(i'm starting to think the people who say it's the thought that counts are bullshitting themselves on purpose, to ease the pain of being forgotten. i had a dream jasmine ripped opened my chest with her bitten and brittle finger nails and swapped my heart for hers. there is no thought in such recklessness, but it definitely counts.)
— june 2, 2014
