Look Away, for I am Nothing (Kuroken UA)

1

Dressed in my gym uniform, I practiced some volleyball by myself in the gym after school. It had only been a week or so since my fist year of high school had started and I was surprised to find that the volleyball team wasn't practicing in there. So, I took a deep breath before tossing the ball into the air to serve. The gym doors flung open and I jumped, startled. I moved out of the way before the ball could come down and hit my head. It bounced on the ground once before I caught it out of the air and held it to my chest. I spun around to see who had entered the room, and a short sandy-haired boy stood directly in front of me. I held back a squeak and stumbled back. His big brown eyes looked up at me, full of wonder and curiosity. He was easy to read, just like a book. I swallowed hard and tightened my grip on my ball, giving him a side glance.

"Who are you?" the boy asked. "Why are you in the gym?"

"Chill, Yaku." Another boy stood at the door. He set his bag by the bench and looked me up and down. A bead of sweat rolled down the back of my neck, and my hair clung to my cheeks. "What's your name, kid? I'm Kai."

I searched the room as if he was talking to someone else. A bunch of other boys flooded into the room after him, not paying me much attention until the boy, Kai, spoke to me again. "There isn't any reason to be afraid, you realize."

All eyes turned towards me, and I felt like a bug under a microscope. I turned away from the people at the gym entrance. So much for not attracting attention in my first year. I walked across the court and collected my school bag. I turned back and made my way to the exit. I kept my eyes on the floor as I pushed the door open. I ran right into a figure that loomed over me. I jumped back and looked up into dark eyes. Or eye. His hair covered his right eye, so I was only able to see his left one. It seemed as if he was a foot taller than I was. I gulped in his shadow as he grinned down at me. He lightly took the ball from my hands and held it between us. I was only able to see his eyes over the top of it.

"You play?" he asked, his voice gruff and deep. "This isn't a school ball."

I looked at him a while before taking my ball back, walking past him with it tucked under my arm. A huge hand wrapped around my shoulder and pulled me back. The boy had his face close to mine.

"It's rude not to respond to a question that is being asked of you, yes?" His question came out as a growl, but it seemed as though it wasn't supposed to.

I swallowed hard. "S-sorry." My voice was rough and quiet as my throat was sore.

"So, do you play?" he asked again.

"Yes."

"Good." His eyes searched my face, and I looked away. "What's your name?"

"K-Kenma... Kozume Kenma."

"Alright." He paused a moment. "My name is Tetsuro Kuroo."

I nodded as he removed his hand from my shoulder. I waited about a minute stuck under his gaze before leaving slowly. When I was out of his eyesight, I ran home. I knew I was going to be in deep shit with my dad if I wasn't home before he was. I was relieved when I found that his car wasn't in front of the house. I burst in and leaned against the back of the front door, breathing hard. I began removing my shoes when the sound of an engine pulled up. I kicked them off and shoved my bag under the coffee table. I spun around looking for something to be doing when my father walked through the door. I froze. The first thing he looked at were my shoes; thrown against the wall. He looked up and searched for me. His eyes narrowed on me and I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. I knew what was coming next. Even though the guy was an alcoholic, he liked everything tidy and clean. He set his briefcase down by the front step calmly, removing his shoes. He stepped up and focused on me. I took a step back as he made his way toward me. He grabbed a fist full of my jaw-length hair and tugged me toward the entrance.

"You think I want to live in a messy home like this, you piece of shit child?" he growled deeply. "The next thing you know, we'll be living in a pigsty."

I whimpered as he threw me to the ground. "Pick up your shit!" he roared. His eyes settled on my bag under the table in the living area. "Ohoho, now. Lookie what we have here. More mess from a useless waste of space."

He scooped it up and ripped everything from inside, throwing it into the air. "Is this what you want to live in?! Huh?!" He continuously ripped my books and papers, notebooks and folders, out of my bag. I just sat back and watched because I knew that if I intervened I would only make it all worse. I hid behind my hair and looked away. I just listened to his yelling. When he left, I fixed my shoes; putting them next to his. I slowly got to my feet and collected everything from the floor. The papers were organized and put back into their correct folders. The notebooks were put back into the bag, and the folders followed after. I grabbed my binder and shoved it into the bag. I sniffed as tears stabbed at the back of my eyes. I hated crying, but I was terrified of being yelled at, so I couldn't help myself. My dad walked back out and stared at me. I hid my face so he wouldn't see the tears running down my cheeks, but as always, it didn't do shit. He gripped my jaw and forced my face forward. His fingers dug into my skin.

"Are you seriously crying?" he asked. "What are you, a fucking pussy? Man the hell up!"

He hit his knuckles against the side of my head. I whimpered as he threw me to the ground. I lay there, waiting for him to leave again. I didn't want to move. I was too afraid. I felt like I was there for hours. I couldn't get up. I just couldn't do it. Tears slid down my face and dripped onto the floor as I curled into a ball. I couldn't bring myself to sob. There was no way I could let my father hear me. I cupped my hands over my mouth to stifle any sound.

I waited a little while longer before lifting myself from the ground. I stumbled up the stairs, dragging my school bag behind me. I pushed my door open and dropped my bag onto my desk before closing the door behind me. I sniffed and crawled into my bed. I bunched up my blanket and shoved my face into it, sobbing quietly. If I had only known where my mom was; where my sister was. I could get out of here. But I knew that it wasn't possible. So I just lay there, clutching onto my blanket and sobbing until I fell asleep.

I woke to my alarm. My hand flew to turn it off. I ended up slapping at my nightstand until I was able to turn it off. I got up from my bed and got into the shower. I avoided my reflection in the mirror. I hated looking at my bruised and broken frame. I hated how I looked. And it was my dad's fault. All his fault.

I showered, washing my body carefully so I wouldn't irritate my skin. I stepped out and dried myself off lightly, rubbing the water from my hair. I didn't look at the mirror, even as I brushed my teeth. I couldn't do it. I could not bring myself to do it. So I left the room and put my school uniform on. I shoved my gym uniform into my bag and grabbed my volleyball before trudging down the stairs. I knew my dad was eating breakfast in the kitchen, so I didn't look over. I just went straight for my shoes. I sat down on the step and began to slip them on. He was quiet so I had no idea he had walked over behind me. He grabbed my hair and forced me to look up at him.

"No hello, you little shit?" he growled. "No 'Good morning, Dad'?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I whimpered.

"Sorry isn't good enough, Kozume."

"Please, please don't hurt me..."

He smirked slightly before he tugged me to my feet by the ear. He looked me in the eyes before punching one of them. He threw me to the ground and grabbed his briefcase. I listened to his car drive away while I stood. I clenched my jaw and sniffed, walking over to the table. I took care of his dishes and cleaned the place up. Afterwards, I headed to school, not thinking much of my eye.