(Corey) I Just Want To Be Right By Your Side (Taylor) [22]

(Corey) I Just Want To Be Right By Your Side (Taylor) [6]

I woke in the morning to find a pair of strong, male arms wrapped around me. I panicked and started struggling.  

"Nici!" I heard Corey's voice in my ear. I stopped moving and focused on slowing down my breathing and my heart rate. Corey's arms were still tense around me but as my breathing slowed down the tension seemed to ease out of him. "Nici, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I don't know how we..." 

"Corey, it's not your fault. I always was a cuddler." 

"Nici, are you ok?" 

"Yeah it was just the shock of waking up. Of not knowing. I know you won't hurt me Corey." 

"Then why won't you let me touch you?" 

"Because I feel like I'm dirty all the time, and I feel like anything that I touch or that touches me becomes tainted with this same dirt."  

"You aren't dirty Nici." 

"Corey. Words aren't going to fix this. I don't know why I can't feel clean anymore." 

"Maybe....Maybe if you talk about it..." 

I could feel my heart clench in my chest.  

"Corey, I...I don't think I'm ready for that yet."  

"Ok, well it's only been a couple of days."  

"I promise I will talk about it. I'm just not ready yet. Although I don't know how much I need to tell you. You were there..." I trailed off.  

"Not for all of it Nici. There isn't a day that I don't regret not making you wait for me."  

"Corey...I didn't mean....I wasn't trying to blame you for what happened." 

"I know, but I do blame myself for it." 

"Corey..." 

I felt his arms wrap tighter around me.  

"I know, I know Nici, but I love you and I want to protect you and I failed at that once already. How can you trust me to protect you in the future?" 

"I will always trust you to do whatever it takes to protect me Corey. You are human. We all have our limits and free will." 

"You trust me?" 

"Yes, I love you Corey." My heart began to beat quickly again. I felt Corey's arms squeeze me gently in a hug.  

"So should we get up?" Corey whispered in my ear. 

I giggled. "Probably. I need to shower and I really do need to do some shopping. I'm almost out of things that Scarlett brought over." 

"And Angeline is coming home tomorrow."  

"She's coming home tomorrow?" 

"Yeah, she wants to be home for the holidays." 

"What did you tell her about me?" 

"Um...I didn't tell her anything yet actually." 

"So she doesn't even know I'm here?" 

"Nope, but don't worry. She'll love you." 

"Ok so shower time?" 

"Yep," Corey said and then I felt him brush his lips against my temple. I laid still in bed as he got out. I waited until he'd left the room before getting up. I was surprised that I didn't feel excessively dirty like I had the last two days. Maybe Corey was right. Maybe I did need to talk about what was going on more. I grabbed the last remaining outfit that Scarlett had brought over and headed into the bathroom. After a long, steaming hot shower I headed down stairs to find Corey in the kitchen with a cup of hot coffee. I poured myself one before sitting down at the table.  

"So plans today?" He asked.  

I bit my lip. "I need to go shopping. This is the last of what Scarlett brought me and I don't think Angeline would appreciate me digging through her closet more than necessary." 

"I don't think she'd mind."  

"She's a young woman Corey. She needs her privacy and she can't have that if I'm in her room digging through her closet not to mention trying to coordinate what she wants to wear and what I can wear." 

"Alright? Are you ready to do that?" 

"I don't know but...I have to be I guess." 

"Ok well do you want me to call Christina?" 

"No...I'd really rather it be you with me. Unless of course you do want to..." 

"No, no! I'd rather be with you. I'd be worrying and wondering if you were alright if I wasn't there." 

"Ok...so I guess we should go then." I said.  

"Yeah, just going to get my phone and call Christina. Let her know what's going on."  

I watched Corey get up and I got myself another cup of coffee, trying to steel myself for what I was about to face. The mall was not going to be a fun experience.  

"Ok," Corey said coming down the steps, "Christina recommended a couple of shops." 

"Corey, I've been to the mall before." 

"I know but I didn't think the mall would be a good environment for you. These are all designed to cater to women..." 

"And all high priced. Corey I can't afford places like that. Especially with taking time off work." 

"I'm paying Nici and no I will not take any objections." 

I opened my mouth and then closed it at the serious look on his face. I pressed my hand to my forehead and closed my eyes sighing. 

"Corey I appreciate the gesture I really do but what I really need to have right now is conteol of my life and my decisions." I looked up at Corey to see indecision and pain. 

"I'm not trying to control you Nici. I just don't think it would be a great idea for you to go to the mall. You remember what lunch was like yesterday." 

"I know and that's why I think I need to do this. It's never going to get better unless I try and I know I would feel the safest with you. You wanted to know how you can help me and this is it. Support my decisions and just be there for me." 

I watched him run a hand down his face as he thought about it. He really did look concerned so I couldn't fault him for wanting to protect me. 

"Ok look. How about we compromise? I'll take you to the mall and you can buy whatever you want. If you can't find anything or if you get to uncomfortable I'll take you to the shops Christina mentioned and I pay." 

I frowned. "Corey..." 

"Look you can think of it as an early Christmas present ok?" 

"Ok," I agreed hoping to relieve some of the tension in the room. I knew that it cost him to make the compromise when he felt it really wasn't in my best interest. "And thank you Corey. This means a lot to me." 

As he helped me into a coat Christina had left for me he said, "I know that's why I'm doing this. I love you Nici, and I want you to be comfortable with me again." 

"I'm trying Corey. I really am." 

"I know sweetheart." He laced his fingers through mine and lifted our hands to his mouth, brushing his lips across my knuckles. I smiled at him blushing a little. He led me out to the car and we started on our way to the mall.

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Ok I just wanted to appologize for any errors in grammar. I am writing this on my phone for the first time and I will edit it as soon as I can get my computer working or replaced. Also I'm not sure of the length so I hope its not to short.