A Florentine

Chapter three - an old dream

Chapter three – an old dream

The steward stepped aside and there entered a man I had not seen in eight years, a man who I had once pinned all my hopes and dreams upon.

'Sister I hear you are sitting for a portrait; may I see the results?' he said in way of greeting. He then registered the composition of the scene before him, a young artist so far from his seat and his sisters' finger tips stained with the red paint from the brush I had dropped.

'What is going on here?' He demanded, his voice deeper than I remembered.

'We had just ordered some refreshments brother, sit with me and take some. Perhaps Master Matteo will take your likeness too.' Francesca moved over to the table and began decanting wine, as we had been caught doing nothing more than breathing.

'I thought master Giovanni was employed in this venture,' he asked his sister, not moving an inch.

'I am his apprentice sir. He is at the market fetching fresh supplies,' I responded boldly, stepping forward into the light and his clearer field of vision.

Leonardo looked properly upon me for the first time, and I saw instantly that he was not as fooled as his sister. Recognition lit his entire face, an expression of the purest joy spread from his mouth instantly to his eyes, and though he said nothing aloud, I felt own features responding to him. My cheeks pinked, my heart soared to know he saw me and only me. At the same time my palms sweated with anxiety at the knowledge that I was, in part, recognisable as my old self. My disguise had failed.

His suspicion and anger had given way to amazement but then changed to confusion. He opened his mouth, but I shook my head miming him to remain silent. He inclined his head slightly and returned to the matter at hand as if nothing had changed. 'Are you learning well from your master boy?' Leonardo asked, superiority purposefully colouring his tone.

'I should await his and my lordships approval sir before I can own an answer to that.' I replied.

Perfecting the air of absentmindedness, Leonardo took the glass goblet offered him by his sister and circled the room. 'And where do you come from, and who has your master proven his talent to for my brother-in-law to send for him?'

'Venice my lord, or at least for the last two years I have been in Venice with my master. He took me on as his apprentice when my previous employment dried up, am I grateful for it as my age was against me, starting so late.'

'And what about before that boy, Matteo was it?'He turned and offered me the smallest of secret smiles, knowing why I had chosen such a name.

'Before that I was in Siena sir, and had been for almost the whole of my middling years.'

'Indeed?' Leonardo could not disguise his surprise, I wondered if he had visited Siena and was thinking how close we had been to rediscovering one another without knowing of it.

'Yes sir, I am good with horses, no use in Venice of course, but very welcome in Siena. I also painted the banners and beacons and carriages for the Contrada that employed me.'

Francesca yawned dramatically, 'brother stop interrogating the lad, he hasn't even answered your first question you intimidate him so.'

'My first question sister?' he repeated at a loss.

'How did my dear husband come by him?' her emphasis on dear proved he was nothing of the sort to her.

'I believe that my master painted for a dear friend of your husbands whilst he stayed in Venice, the ambassador.'

'Ah you mean Marco!' Francesca replied, her eyes twinkled so that I could imagine exactly the capacity she knew him in.

'Back to work anyway I should say,' announced Leonardo turning away from his sister with an expression of embarrassment. So I finished my painting of Francesca and sought to excuse myself.

'Master Giovanni has not returned,' my cousin protested, 'you must not go without him, he may be perturbed.'

'I am done with my painting your ladyship.'

'Then take my brothers likeness whilst he is here, will you not?' she asked, staring at me through her eyelashes in a way that reminded me of Sophia every time she sat beside me at meal times.

'If he wishes it madam.'

'I do wish it,' Leonardo replied and a secret thrill coursed through me. 'Sister I do believe I saw a collection of correspondences waiting for your answer in the other room, perhaps you would leave us and respond to them. I would feel much better being studied by only one artist.'

'You banish me from my own room brother!' She declared taking mock offensive.

'I do dear sister, if only for your own good and that of your household. If you do not respond you shall have no fresh linens or food for the dinner on Friday, I think merely of your happiness and reputation sister.'

She bent and kissed his forehead affectionately, 'as you can see Matteo I have such a thoughtful and determined brother,' I did not need Francesca's words to know that Leonardo was a good and generous man.

With her went her maid and the stewards' son. Without a word Leonardo stood up, checked both sets of doors were securely in place, and locked them. Turning back to me I saw his eyes were leaking tears. I hastened to step forward to comfort him but stopped almost as soon as I started, my arms limply outstretched. Dropping them to my side I finally spoke. 'Cousin forgive me, won't you say you forgive me and that you will cherish my secret as if it were you own?'

'I barely know what to say.' He too took a tentative step forward and then thought the better of it. 'What happened to you? I thought you were dead, ravaged on the road...' he left the inevitable question hanging there. A woman's chastity and thus her virtue were integral to her good name.

'When I refused to marry Benci father pushed him towards a match with Elizabetta instead. Father gave me an ultimatum marry Benci or enter a convent.' I replied with quiet simplicity.

'I remember that much,' Leonardo agreed, 'I was there, I begged father to...' He stopped abruptly and turned away from me, pacing the room with his back to me once again.

'Begged him to want?' I asked, daring to stand forward and lay a hand on the crook of his elbow. He did not flinch way.

'It does not matter now,' he responded stubbornly. 'What I know is that you entered the nunnery, that I saw you through a grill once and then we were told you had been selected to go to Siena. Then on the road you were attacked by bandits and only our abbess aunt's body was found. Yet here you are, plain as day. Standing in front of me, a little older, in boys clothes, but you are you,' his breath caught, 'you are the same.'

'Plain as day to you perhaps but not to your sister,' I answered attempting to keep my tone level and not react to the emotions he was betraying.

He then seized upon the previous situation, horror dawned on his face, 'do you mean she was clearly trying to entice you?'

I barked a laugh, it was suddenly all too absurd to comprehend. 'Well I was hardly going to attempt to bed her.' Leonardo flinched at my course language. I flushed, 'forgive me cousin I have lived among men too long.'

His expression become concerned again, 'so all you said about Siena and horses and painting, that was true?'

'Half true,' I admitted reluctantly feeling as if the only person I could not cope with ever judging me was Leonardo.

'Tell me everything' he begged.

I shook my head, 'not here, the walls have ears.'

'They always have.' He responded cryptically.

'Tomorrow Giovanni has promised me the afternoon off, he believes I have a poor old great aunt or something the like still living here and insists I take time to see her. Meet me in Palazzo Vecchio, behind the loggia and we shall go from there.'

'We could walk to the farm,' he suggested, excitement alight in his eyes. 'No one will be there, except the servants; Elena prefers the city.'

'Elena?' I repeated, my heart caught off guard.

Leonardo paled and shifted uncomfortably. 'Elena. My wife. She's one of the Medici cousins.' I felt like someone had slapped me in the face and not a light slap either. I should have known. I did know deep inside. He could never have waited for me and besides he thought I was dead. But a Medici! My internal organs seemed to shrivel at the thought. Bile rose in my throat.

After a long awkward silence I broke it, mustering as much strength as possible. 'I ought to take your likeness,' I said having nothing else to say.

He nodded. 'I would like that.'