8:11 pm
location | on my back porch.
°strong language°
i fucking hate my family. like yeah I love them but very very very very very very very deep down.
my mom has this boyfriend that has been there since I was one. my mom had two kids with them, my two sisters autumn and erica. well all i ever did since i was a child was to live with my mom and dad.
it hurts that all my mom, rich (step dad), and my two sisters be a little family. im sitting on the other side of the deck and all they are doing is laughing and talking about life decisions and give me absolutely no mind.
my foot has been hurting for like four weeks and i can barely walk and she doesn't want to fucking take me the fucking doctor.
just now she was like "who are you texting?"
and I was like "writing a book."
she had the fucking balls to say "oh how bad your life is?"
me with my attitude i have, was going to say "yeah, but of course autumn and erica have to be fucking perfect so they have the best life in the world." but i just said no.
we were suppose to go to a carnival, as a family but now "it's too late." WELL I HAVE BEEN FUCKING ASKING ALL GOD DAMN DAY.
this is the point of my life where I don't wanna wake up the next morning. it's because of the way I feel. not loved, cared about.
my friend bought me a phone because my mom "never had the money" but can go buy my little sister's all this damn candy and buy all this pop and shit. but can you pay a phone bill for me? who cares if your boyfriend pays yours. you payed corey's (older brother) bill but couldn't have thought of me? you're so fucking shady.
yes people say oh you fight with your mom. it's normal. well does HOLDING YOUR DAUGHTER TO THE WALL BY HER FUCKING THROAT, just "alittle argument."
i just want to end my life. they won't notice me. AND NO IM NOT A DEPRESSED FREAK. i just have fucking feelings.
end time [8:22 pm]
