What She Left

chapter five

dedicated to heroiques because she would murder me if I didn't finally dedicate a chapter to her and I guess she's cute and I kinda tolerate her existence

six fifty-one p.m., november eighteenth, two thousand and sixteen
four months before

     She's ready to die.

     Sometimes she thinks of the years and years ahead of her, how she could have a life and fall in love. Have a family that she would raise to be normal and go to soccer on Saturday mornings and swimming with their friends and she could grow old surrounded by people who cared about her.

     But then she remembers what happened exactly thirteen months ago and what finally pushed her past her breaking point and made her into what she is now. Someone ready to kill and ready to die. Bailey knows it was coming eventually, but what happened just over a year ago sped up the process. She remembers that love doesn't last and even though she thought she could move past the life she's been raised to live and be happy, she couldn't. She can't. It always ends.

     So Bailey sits on the creaky swing at the park and compares the two things; forgetting everything she's ever known to make a new life for herself, or carrying om with this plan and forfeiting her own life.

    Rust flakes onto her jeans from the metal chains and she brushes them off idly. She glances up as a loud laugh echoes theough the cold air and sees two girls she recognizes. It doesn't take her long to place the two most loved girls at Stone Ridge. Meilin and Brigid, notorious for their years-long friendship and the general respect they treat everyone at school with.

    Bailey's sure she's never spoken a word to either of them, but she feels like she knows them. Privileged, wealthy, a secure future monetarily and probably romantically. Bailey doesn't get jealous much, but when she does, it's a tidal wave, and today, it's fueled by her own thoughts into a tsunami. She'll never get to what they have, no matter how hard she tries. So why should she?

She watches them with her head lazily tilted backwards, the swing making a quiet creak, creak when she moves. Brigid turns her head fast, her almost silvery dirty blonde hair swinging, and says something to Mei that makes the other girl burst into laughter.

     Bailey's never had friends. A few people, in kindergarten or first grade, that she spent the school year with, but no one she would consider a friend. Before Marianne left, they got along, a friendship disguised as a vicious sibling rivalry.

     But they worked the same way; thought along the same lines. She knows that even now, they would both would take extreme measure for the other if it was needed. If anything, the Nikitis sisters were loyal; having grown up in the same enviroment fueled that bond. So maybe, Bailey thinks, she does have a friend.

    Bailey takes one last long, scrutinizing look at the two best friends now lying on the grass and hops off the swing lightly. The park is almost eight blocks from her neighborhood. but she needed to get away and she didn't mind the walk. She's always liked the cold better anyway.

      Marianne's sitting on the kitchen counter when she arrives back home, wrapped in a wool peacoat and dark jeans. As usual, her makeup and hair are flawless. As Bailey pushes herself into the counter across from her sister, she eyes the expensive-looking coat. She's always known Jace wasn't as poor them, but this is different. "Sugar daddy much?"