two weeks and two days later
As much as I was surprised saying this, my life was going pretty well beside that mine and Nicole's friendship broke and that we both did not talk for about three weeks. But that's OK. She was not being a good friend to me at all. The bad part is, I had no friends beside her. Now I was alone and sometimes I needed a friend to talk and that's when I was happy I had Jayden next to me.
Still, school was horrible and a torture for me. Seeing the faces that broke me down and hurt me was not easy but I was getting used to it until this one day in P.E.
I wished I were with Jayden instead at school. He made me happier.
Last lesson at school, we all, the girls only in one room of course, were getting back dressed and I was standing in a corner of the chancing room, trying not to be in center point to not to get the girls attention of my body or just of general me.
"Uh, Kate? What are these scars on your arms?" I looked up seeing not only Nicole's eyes on me but from the other girls, too. Ten minutes and I could be free from school and now this was happening.
"What? I-" stumbling I tried to put my words together so they would make sense. "They are- My cat. My cat did them."
"But I have a cat too, I've always lived with cats and they just end up being little scratches not like yours." I heard someone from the other corner saying.
"Plus your thighs look attacked from your cat too." Nicole pointed with her eyes on my legs, and I put my jeans up, not letting them stare at my thighs anymore. "Don't deny it, you did this to yourself."
You're a failure, why did you let them see your scars? How stupid can you be? You should have changed in the toilet but no! You're a stupid idiot who can't even think right!
Not only the disgusted looks from my class-friends killed me, but also my thoughts and the voices in my head and I grabbed my bag, letting my bracelets, which what I used to hide my cuts, fall inside it.
And this was it.
I ran out from the dressing room, knowing the whole school would start to talk about me again. The judging looks, the rude words, no I did not want to hear them, not again. I could'nt do this.
Go back home! Go in your room! Grab your razors! Do it! Do it! Cut yourself! Who cares about you being three weeks clean? Nobody! It will make you feel better! You'll be numb Kate!
The last thing I wanted was going back home. I didn't want to lose control, no I didn't want to do this once again. I needed to see Jayden, I needed to talk with him.
Feeling the tears drying on my cheeks, I walked out of school making my way fast to him. As much as my head said no, we needed to talk about this. He needed to know about the real me. I wasn't sure about this at all but I did not wanted him to hear this from someone else.
I was scared, of his reaction and what would happen tomorrow at school but right now the only thing I feared was him hating me for hiding this from the start.
He will hate you! He has his own problems! Do you think he needs a suicidal and depressed girlfriend like himself? Kate, you never use your brain, don't you? Go back home and finish this all! One cut, vertical, on you arm! You know how it all works, you searched a bunch of websites about it! It can all end! So fast!
Everything was blurry but my finger still found the door in front of me and I knocked a lot of times till someone opened and from the good Aurora filling around me I knew it's him.
"Jayden we need to talk!"
No he did'nt answer but I knew we would be talking about this later but instead of asking, he just wrapped his arms around me and this was what I exactly wanted. Him.
// Sorry for the author note at the end I know it always makes the chapters ugly but just wanted to say thank you so much for reading! Hope you liked this chapter I am not really happy with it. Sorry for uploading so late. Vote? Comment?
