save me; taehyung

08

Dad's illness couldn't be diagnosed precisely, but the medicines he took were slightly improving his health. He could then at least speak and eat on his own. Sungjae-hyeong had to drop out of college to earn money. As for Noona, she never visited him. It was only Sungjae and I that went through a lot after dad became bedridden.

It was a gloomy afternoon, the skies grey and a thunderstorm on its way. It had been a month since school started, and I was determined to do good. No way in hell was I going to repeat a grade.

I entered the house to be greeted by the usual depressing aura. The house felt stuffy and the light coming through the windows was dim. I glanced to the kitchen to find mom, looking as if she hadn't eaten for days.

With a sigh, I walked into my room. It was foggy inside as hyeong was smoking. Since he dropped out, he to moved in with us, and of course, he stayed with me.

I grew used to the smell of cigarettes, so it didn't bother me. In fact, it became addicting and I was tempted to try it many times, but never did.

"Taehyung-ah..."

"Hm?"

"This is so hard- I can't do-" Sungjae forced words out of his mouth, his voice cracking. He's been like that for a while now. Dropping out of college and giving up on his dreams was wrecking him.

"I'm sorry." I knew that an apology wouldn't have given him anything, it wouldn't have helped him in anyway, but maybe, just maybe, it might have showed him that it wasn't his fault.

He put his cigarette away and sighed, covering his face with his palms.

"You know...I don't think dad will survive any longer."

"Hyeong! What the f-ck are you saying?!"

"What do you want me say? Feed you with lies? Tell you that he'll be all good? Taehyung, he's supposed to be hospitalised until they diagnose him properly, but I couldn't even get the means to do so! Then there are your school fees! Bills, bills, bills, everything has a bill! And we need some food on the damn table! What the f-ck can I do? I'll do anything! I don't want to let dad go, but I'm afraid I might! I can't do or give him anything!"

My words failed me to reply, every thing he said was true.

He wouldn't be able to do it alone, which was why I decided to look for a part time job. If Noona could come and help us... I sighed, knowing that she wouldn't.

Maybe if we all work, we'll get through this. With that thought in mind, I left the house in that cold weather, hoping that I get a good part time job that will help my family.

I held onto that hope, clutching it as if it would make everything better. But what was hope? I realised that it was nothing but a fake feeling we humans use to fill a void, to replace fear or any negative feeling.

Hope made everything worse for me. Maybe if I didn't hold onto it, I wouldn't have gotten hurt.

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(A/N)

Hiyo! Thank you all for the votes and comments! It motivates me so much!

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How's the story going? Is there anything confusing you? Please don't hesitate to ask, you can PM me if you want 😊😆

Pic of Tae's hyeong (olderbro) in this story

It's Sungjae of BtoB...they do look alike 😍