It's been three months, three long, awful, terrifying, horrid months since Niall's boyfriends had found about his eating disorder. They tried to get him to quite cold turkey, but it wasn't that easy. They didn't understand how Niall couldn't just eat three large full scale meals a day like they could. Back when he did force himself to puke, Niall could barely cover one square meal a day, and that was on a good day.
The first week was the hardest. Niall had the urge to throw up his food constantly, but he couldn't, because he promised his boyfriends that he wouldn't. The night after the radio interview with Jake, the boys hadn't pressured Niall on what he ate. They ordered pizza in, they had already had a rough day with Jake and all and they really didn't want to deal with fans right now, plus they felt Niall would be more comfortable eating with just them watching.
Old Niall could eat a whole pizza by himself, but bulimic Niall was terrified just to eat one piece. Niall could feel four pairs of eyes pierced on him as he slowly ate his slice of pizza. He had tried his best not to roll his eyes; it was hard enough to eat, let alone being watched. They didn't say anything to him, which was good; Niall had been terrified that they would make him eat more. Niall just kept his eyes glued on the movie they were supposed to be watching.
'There you go Nialler, just a few more bites,' Niall said in his mind as he reached the crust of his pizza. Taking a deep breath, Niall pushed the crust of the pizza into his mouth and chewed slowly. Once again Niall didn't look back to see his boyfriends reactions, but they could feel the grins burning into the back of his skull.
That night the boys were curled up in bed and all snugged around Niall. "You were so great today baby," Harry smiled and rubbed Niall's arm.
"We are so proud of you," Liam cooed pressing a kiss to his forehead.
"We are just gonna take it one step at a time, if you ever feel like we are pushing you too hard you gotta tell us," Louis said cuddling Niall into his chest.
"Okay, I'll try, but I don't think it's going to be easy," Niall murmured after a long sigh.
"We'll be there every step of the way," Zayn whispered, "We love you Nialler."
Five days later they had their first fight over food. "Niall, come on, you have to eat some more," Harry whined looking at the food that was still left on Niall's plate.
"I already ate all my breakfast this morning," Niall whines pushing the food around his plate with a fork.
"We know Niall, just try a few more bites," Zayn said putting his plate in the sink already finishing his lunch ten minutes ago.
"I'm not hungry," Niall whimpered.
"Don't be difficult Niall," Louis scolded. Niall pushed his plate away and stood up from the table.
"I can't just eat three damn meals a day like all of you can! I have been starving myself for a month now; my stomach can't handle all the food you keep trying to shove down my throat! I am trying! Stop acting like I'm not!" Niall screams as tears start to fall from his eyes.
"Niall, babe," Liam murmurs reaching out his arms for Niall to come hug him, but Niall just shakes his head.
"It's just, you guys don't understand. It is so hard! I'm getting fat again, and I know you all keep telling me that I am skin and bones, but I don't see it! All I see is this budgie belly, chubby cheeks, and huge thighs. I'm not built or toned like you guys are. I am just a big load of fat! Just like they said, I am a huge fucking whale! I'm trying to eat for you guys! It's just so HARD!" Niall screamed as angry tears followed down his face.
