I hate you, I love you

Chapter 20

I saw how he walked away. Away from me. I felt a bit guilty. He actually cares about me. How's that even possible? That someone cares about me. I was staring at him until I couldn't see him anymore.

~

It was dark. The stars were showing. They're so beautiful. I looked up at the sky and I could see my mom. I was laying on the bench wrapped in my clothes. It's cold.
I could see what mom was doing. She's with dad. They love each other and they have always fun with each other (not on that way). They seem to have a great time up there. But, I wanna be with them too. I wanna do things with them and laugh with them. I wanna be with my family. I don't wanna be here with the stupid people. I never told mum I'm bullied. I didn't want her to get sad or worried about me. But I'll tell her when I'm in the sky with them. And yes you heard right, I'm gonna be in the sky with my family. I just need to find a way to die. Maybe kill myself with a knife? Nah, I don't wanna feel the pain. I've already felt enough of pain. Maybe pills? Yes that's good. I won't be able to feel the pain if I'm taking pills. But how do I find them? Maybe Peter have some. I'll ask him tomorrow. I hope he doesn't kill me though.

I smiled. Finally I'm going to see my family again. I miss my family so much.

"Good night" I said to my parents.

"Good night Martina" I could hear them say.

I smiled, closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Short chapter again lol. Why do I always write : sry for chapter" when my chapters are supposed to be short smh. But anyways, I hope u liked this chapppppiieeee. Exciting chapters are coming soon. Very exciting. I hope. I'm not very good at writing things in details. Jag kör bara på :)