DISCLAIMER: Any hate words I say are purely for the fanfiction. I'm in full support of the lgbt+ community as well as being part of it and I am very supportive of equal love with whatever your sexuality is weather it be pansexual or bisexual. And for those of you who don't support the lgbt+ community well then GO FUCK YOURSELF! Have a nice day guys love you all.
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Joe's PoV: After I had come out to everybody that I was dating the one and only Caspar Lee messages and comments were flying in. Most of them were congratulations, sweet things and other supportive stuff like that. But the ones that stuck out the most were the hate comments.
"@casparsgurl This is just fucking disgusting Guys should only fall in love with girls not other guys You're a faggot Joe and iim unsubscribing from you and caspar Buh Bye to your faggot asses" And then this comes through my feed. "@gaysarefaggots You know what you should do Joe? Mark up those faggot wrists of yours with a small metal object called a razor blade. While your at it cut a vein. I hope you fucking die your a fucking faggot. Gay love should not be allowed #killyourselfjoesugg"
It's only love. What is so wrong with loving another guy? Maybe they are right maybe i should make marks on my arms and my whole body. I grabbed a razor from one of my drawers and headed to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me. 1 cut for being me. The 2nd for being gay. The 3rd for dating Caspar. I put a few more cuts on my arms and then hid the razor as best as possible. I cleaned uo my arms and anywhere that had blood so it wouldn't raise suspicions with Caspar.
THE NEXT DAY
Caspar didn't find the blade yet and I made more marks today only this time I made the mistake of "oh capsars out about and wont be back for awhile i clean this up later". I had forgotten to clean it before Caspar came home. I sat on our bead mindlessly scrolling through hate when Caspar comes out of our shared bathroom with tears in his eyes and the razor in his hands. He kneels in front of me and gently takes the phone out of my hands and sets it aside. I don't resist when he grabs my arm gently and rolls my sleeve up. That's all it takes for me to start bursting into tears. I sobbed and launched myself into Caspar's arms and cried like my father just died. He didn't need words or an explanation so I'm guessing he saw the comments and all the hate. He swayed us back and forth rubbing my back ever so gently. Once i had sobbed all the liquids out of my body Caspar picked me up, one arm around my bum and another around my back. He set me down in bed and got in himself pulling the blankets up to us whispering "we'll talk tomorrow" and pulling me into his loving, caring arms. My eyes slowly closed and i drifted off into dreamland where good dreams about me and Caspar resided. How did i get so lucly to get such a sweet boy like him?
A/N If you struggle with self harm GET HELP!! I cannot stress enough about how dangerous it is. I went through a period in my life where everything was fucked up. I was sexually harassed and was bullied. It's not fun. Stop. If you need help contact me to talk. I will be updating this part later with some hotlines for suicide self harm and all that other not good stuff. Keep this in mind. If you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend talk to them about your problems. They can help you through it. Talk to your family, your councilor, a therapist. Talk to someone who can help. And as always Lov Ya Guys! ~Divergent432
Hotlines: 24 hours a day National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
