Intoxicated (ereri)

Chapter 10-Please

We walk in my house, I turn to look at him expecting to see sadness, depression or anger but no I didn't see any of that. What I saw in him was just tiredness not from exhaustion after a tragedy but for something like being tired from work or tired of exercising.

"Eren are you okay?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah I'm fine, I heal really fast so these cuts and bruises are nothing.." he says as he yawns.

"Alright that's good but I didn't necessarily mean that..." I explain carefully.

"Oh.. yeah I'm good"he replied quietly.

"Are you sure? I mean you just went through that how are you not traumatized or at least angry?" I ask coming closer to where he stood.

"I'm not angry, sad or anything like that, if anything I'm embarrassed that you and the cops had to see me like that......plus it wasn't the first time he forced me to do something sexual, it just scared me that these other guys were there" he whispers as he hugs himself. I stood there shocked, it took me a couple of seconds to even register what he said and think of what to say back.

"Eren do you even hear yourself why in the hell would you stay with someone like that, someone who beats you, makes you feel like shit and basically rapes you!" I yell not being able to control myself. He flinches and looks down to his feet.

"B-because" he stutters.

"Because what! I can't see any reason why you should or would even want to be in the same room as him!" I yell as I clutch my hands into fists.

"Because he is the only one who loves me dammit! Other people, I was with only cheat on me and use me! I mean he's the only one who didn't cheat and loved me, yeah if he gets drunk then he could get aggressive but if he's sober he's an alright guy even sweet sometimes!... Better than past relationships where they were mean to me all the time and not even stay true! If I don't have him the only other people that even find me attractive are like 50-year-old horny men who only think about fucking me alright! So sorry for staying with the best option out there!" he yelled out while bursting out into tears, I was surprised by the sudden outburst. the atmosphere got really heavy around us, and I hated that Eren had to go through this and feel this. I feel my hands clutch tighter which somehow helps me gain confidence for what I'm about to say.

"But have you ever stop and think about your happiness? Because if you were truly happy you wouldn't be acting like how you are now... Though I may not know a whole lot about relationships but, I know enough to know that, that relationship isn't a stable one. And that sure as hell ain't love Eren you need to find someone who truly loves you, who treats you like the amazing diamond that you are. Find someone who is willing to hold their baggage and yours, who is willing to go through hell and back for you... Someone who wakes up every day grateful to have you,.... who is willing to give up everything for you." once I started I couldn't stop myself, the words were just flying out of my mouth... I had no control of it.

  As he quietly whimpers, I then realized that I didn't say that just for his sake I think that was me subconsciously stating what I'd do for him if he was mine.

"G-god I feel s-so dirty now" he sobs as he holds himself harder.

"I know Eren, I know," I say snapping out of it then rubbing his back once I moved closer.

"How do I e-even find someone like t-that" he whispers as he leans onto my chest. I wait for a moment to find the courage to say what I want to say.

"Sometimes you have to look right in front of you" I whisper to him. He looks up at me, we hold contact for a minute. Then he lets himself go and slowly slides his arms around my neck and pressed our foreheads together. we stay in this blissful position for what seems like an eternity, then he said some words that made my old heart pound.