Bitter Sweet

Prologue

A/N:(*Just in case you don't know already, everything at the beginning in italics is a dream of Corallines*)

Enjoy..xx

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Bitter Sweet

-Prologue-

I was falling, tumbling, spiralling down. Down into this dark room. Is it even a room? My hands were shaking uncontrollably. As if I had drank several coffees, as if pure caffeine was pulsing through my veins and making me shake and convulse. Maybe that was it.

It suddenly got hot.It was like I was in the dark pits of hell, that's how hot it was. Sweat trickled down my brow. It felt like flames were licking my arms and legs. Then they were. Fire was everywhere, surrounding me and there was no escape. I began to panic. My trembling voice yelled, screaming in pain and desperation, praying that someone would help me, find me and save me. Where's Zac?

"Zac?" My throaght burned. "Zac where are you?!"

He was there, lying a few feet in front of me. He wasn't moving. "Zac?!" I screamed. My legs carried me to him and I was on my knees, shoving him and trying to get him to move, or say something or just breathe."Zac, please say something!" Blood was trickling out from between his lips, my hands were red. He was surrounded by a pool of blood. So much blood. My cheeks were wet, eyes burning. However not just from the flames. It's all my fault. It's all my fault.

My arms and legs went numb. I couldn't feel a thing.

I was falling again, going down deeper and deeper into more and more darkness. If it was even possible to get any darker.

The darkness consumed me. At least I wish it did. God I wish it did.

...

You think you know death, but you don't. Not until you've seen it, really seen it.

I stared at my black boots as my legs carried me to school. I've had these doc's (Doctor Martins) since I could remember. They were a gift from him, it was my thirteenth birthday and all I wanted was a fresh new pair of Doc Martins. My parents had always refused to buy them for me when I was younger because they were so expensive and were supposed to last for years, and I was still just a growing girl. But when I hit thirteen, I finally got them, and god was I happy at the time. I still wear them to this very day, of course. Zac had gotten me one size too big so I'd be able to wear them forever, he said. I'm almost 18 now, and they still fit me perfectly.

There's this heavy feeling I get in my chest sometimes when I walk through the school gates. Before everything with Zac, I was free. Free from the cliche cliques in school, free from the bitchy rumors, just free from everything. I was a nobody, plain old boring Coraline, and I liked it. It was just me and Zac against the world.

But now I'm that weird loner girl who was best friends with the guy who committed suicide. And the looks my 'peers' give me, I can't fucking stand them. The I-feel-so-sorry-for-you-and-I'm-so-glad-I'm-not-you looks. The I'm-not-actually-going-to-support-you-at-all-but-I'm-going-to-pretend-I-care looks. Staring at me with their pity. Sometimes I just want to yell at them. I wan't to yell at them to stop staring. Just to please stop with all the pity, and the looks they give me.

I'm getting that slight heavy feeling in my chest now. I should be used to the looks, after all its been almost eight whole months, but I'm not. Not to the extent where I can just not even think about it, I wish. But to the extent where I can walk by seeming senseless, as if I felt nothing. As if I thought nothing or maybe I was even grateful for their piteous stares.