I brought his cold hands to my lips, leaving a small kiss on the back of it before placing it down again, my hands still in his.
A sigh left my lips as I watch the white room, I don't know about him but if I were to live in this room I'd at least make it a little bit cozy and homey but gods knows that he ''too manly'' to admit that out loud, being the perfect wife I planned to buy few things for the room, so that whenever I'm not around he'd still feel a little bit at home.
Another sigh left my lips, I wish someone was here to talk with or that Adam is awake, of course I won't wake him up because he needs all the rest he needs and out friends is busy with their life and I'm too shy to ask them to come and even if they do come they will leave fast thanks to Adam attitude that only appears when a friend of ours come, when I asked him he claims at first that he doesn't have one but after the look I gave him he confesses that he don't like when they give him 'the look' and when I asked what look his answer was ''it's the look where they feel sympathy to me, knowing that I will not be the same you know? No more crazy adventures for me and that just destroy me, I know that I'll never be the same again, everyone knows that but I don't need to be reminded of it every damn time they come, we all changed because of what happened to me and I hate it'' and after that he closed his eyes and slept.
It really broke my heart hearing that, and made me angry at Jay and Lily and the others, I understand that it's difficult to see your friend hopeless and can't do anything without the help of someone else, I'm his wife so I understand the struggle but they need to stop acting like he's another person, a hopeless person because he's not, I know he is not.
I took the telly remote control from the side table and turn it on, changing channels till I found one with a show I like ''how I met your mother'' I can use some laugh, especially in times like this. The episode was about Ted and Marshall high hijacking Barney for what he thought is his surprise bachelor party.
I laugh at Ted and Marshall fighting over who get to be the hostage, only those two would fight about it.
''what so funny?'' I hear a voice mumble, I turn to see Adam looking at me with a confused smile, I smiled back before answering '' Ted and Marshall fighting over who can be the hostage'' I said laughing after a little bit when he completely looks at me with confused look ''I'm pretty sure that we no one that named Ted or Marshall'' I give him a look ''they're from 'how I met your mother' remember? Your favourite show you old man, I didn't know you've Alzheimer as well'' he laughs at that.
We sit back for the rest of what left of the show and enjoyed our time, Adam adding how his friends wanted to bring him a 'police officer' like they did to Barney but he refused because he was mine and I was his which made me roll my eyes at him, that boy.
We were interrupted by the doctor coming in ''good afternoon Mrs Smith'' he said to me which I return before focusing on Adam ''so Adam, how are you feeling today?'' ''like I'm on my deathbed oh wait! I am'' he said before laughing like he said some great joke, Dr Brown frown at him while I give him the look where he know he was not funny at all ''okay I'm sorry I'm sorry, no need to be grumpy now wifey'' he said as he pull my cheeks up at to make me smile but I slapped his hands away when he started to punch them ''stop punching my cheeks you ass '' ''but how can someone resist those chubby cheeks'' he said in a baby voice and was about to punch again before I moved away and turn back to the Dr. that was now used to our very strange behavior.
''any news?'' I asked, and cursed myself for letting my voice had the hope tone in it, I saw Adam frown but decide to ignore it and focus on the Dr. ''will there is chemistry o-'' ''no no no'' Adam said growling and sinking to the bed, I swear he is acting like he is 5 not 25 ''shish Adam let him con-'' ''no I won't, I said it once and twice and I'll say it until I die, which will be happing soon so I hope you planned the funeral'' he said looking at me but I still have the same unimpressed look ''they're already people waiting for me to die so they can use my organs and I'm okay with it, I don't want to destroy my body with chemicals when I know that at this stage nothing will help me but I still can help them, there is no hope left for me but there is still left for them'' he said looking at me and the Dr. brown so that we can let it sink in.
''if that's what you wish for then..'' ''it's'' ''I'll be checking on you later okay?'' he said before leaving, which was at the perfect moment because all three of us knows there will be a fight. ''Look lov-'' 'don't you dare'' I said '' you have right to do this!-'' ''actually I've, you see this -he said pointing at his body- is my body and I can do anything with it, you should be happy and supportive of my decisions'' '' and I would have been if it was about you doing something that will not cost you your life!'' ''it won't be costing my life because I'd it when I'm dead! Something that you need to accept because I do'' he shouted before lowering his voice in the end ''love you knew now for months that this over, I was weak and lost my battle and that's it, there is nothing we can do about'' ''but you heard the doctor, there is-'' ''there isn't anything that will stop me from dying, all it will do is keep alive in pain for few months before they will say 'sorry to inform you but the medicine is not working' you know it, I know it and he and everyone else who work here know it, it's time to accept the truth, I'm dying and there is nothing to do about it''
