I still care, so much it hurts...he lied to me...I asked him if he will ever break my heart ...he said never....I once loved him , I don't know anymore..I'm hurting really bad...I heard many things...about what he's doin and trying to do...about how he's changed and is not the same person...I just wish he would just end whatever there is left and unfinished between us instead of just tossing me aside cause he doesn't care and I'm just some piece of unimportant trash that is still there...I just wish he would end it once and for all...I can't stand it anymore...I don't want to cry myself to sleep anymore,I don't want to have dreams about him anymore better yet I don't want to have dreams about strange guys I've never met and have my hopes shot down to wake up and find out it was just a stupid dream! I'm tired of being hurt , rejected and stuck behind every one else...I was too stupid to see the real him, too fooled to see I was just a quest to be conquered, but most of all too fooled to see I was just being played with. I meant nothing to him. I was just another toy. Waiting to be played then later broken and left cause I'm already used. He thinks he's won but I won't give up that easily.. :-) he wants to play so will I. I'm not gonna talk , think or even ,mention him again I'm just gonna pretend we never happen ...I'm gonna put a smile on my face to hide the hurt, I'm gonna live my life with him not in it...he will never get another chance not even as friends and that's final coming from me.; im gonna ignore him just like he's done to me...I'm gonna completely shut him out. My tears are not to be wasted on him again. My heart shall never be broken by him again......i deserve someone better someone that puts me first...cares about me and loves me...I deserve someone mature and at the same time just like me.... fun. I deserve someone I can love for who they are not who I want them to be. I want someone to be with me because I mean something to him ,not because he can't stand that his friends wants me and he wants to prove he can get me first.; I want someone that will wait till I'm ready and not push me to do what I don't wanna do....someone who will not force me with peer pressure.. I want someone who believes in me, n wants something out of life.
