I grew up to be the girl
i thought I'd never be
sneaking out at midnight
anger streaming down my cheeks
Bring the pills
bring the blade
bring everything
needed for escape
Feet hitting pavement
in the dead of night
heaving breathing
and bloodshot eyes
I'll make it to the river
a block or two away
and jump down off the bridge
to the ground where small rocks lay
Dashing through the brush
feet splashing water trickles
arms scratched from thorns on vines
and whimpers oh so little
Find the spot
all alone
away from the place
that I call home
Smeared blood
on the pebbles
time to forget
and down the pills
Waking up
cold and damp
halfway in the river
with stomach cramps
Four AM
i've got time to get back
stumbling back home
heart pumping fast
Through the window
frigid hands on soft pillows
dreading the day
that's known as Tomorrow
I'll start again
tears flowing once more
as I fall back to sleep
on my bedroom floor.
