My Beloved

Chapter 4

   Her response rings in my ears over and over again, my heart pounding in my ears as the words continue to echo in my ears. Seiji stares at her in surprise, he blinks a few times in shock. His hand still holding out the ring and his face still maintaining that ridiculous grin, the grin that begins to falter and fall as her words sink in. His hand trembles as he tightens his grip on the small black box that contains the ring that he had expected to give to Chihiro when she accepted his heart and his soul, only that she didn't.
   "No?"
   "I am sorry Seiji, but I cannot accept your kind offer." She answers softly as she begins to close the door. Seiji quickly pockets the ring and jumps to his feet to stop the shutting of the door. His hand slamming on the wooden surface making her jump in shock and surprise. His face is incredulous and shocked as he stares at her with such shock and absolute confusion.
   "I don't understand." he murmurs softly. I can't help the smile that has formed on my lips as I watch this new interaction between the pair of them. Such relief has flooded my system that it takes all of my willpower not to just begin laughing out of sheer giddiness and joy. Chihiro isn't getting married! "Why, have you refused me? I don't understand this Chihiro! What possible reason could you have to refuse my offer?!"
   "You wouldn't make me happy Seiji, and I would be the last woman on this Earth to ever be able to make you happy."
   "So all of this is just uncertainty and anxiety?" He asks with a hopeful smile. "We can figure it all out Chihiro, there is no need for you to be worried about any of that, I know that you will make me very happy."
   "You are not listening." She says seriously as she steps into the doorway fully. Her long brown hair cascading over her shoulders as she stares down the taller man making him shrink beneath her intense gaze. "I do not like to repeat myself Seiji, you can not make me happy and I know that to be a fact." He stares at her in confusion and shock. "And you have taken a few incidents where I have been kind to you and expected me to simply accept your romantic advancements because I attempted to be kind to you. You have convinced yourself that you love me when in all reality, you are only in love with the idea of me."
   "You don't know that." he mutters softy, his hands trembling as they fall back to his sides. "There is no way that you have any idea how I really feel for you."
   "I know what love is, Seiji." she says gently. I peer at her curiously from my perch in the tree. She knows what love is? Who was she interacting with in my absence? The bitter sting of jealousy races through my body but I quickly force it down so then I can keep a grip on my composure. "You only love the idea of what you believe that I can offer you, and I assure you that I will not be able to give you what you crave."
   "I see." He murmurs with a crestfallen expression. He takes a backward step off of her porch and stares back at Chihiro with a heartbroken gaze. From the way that he looks at her it looks like that he is hoping that she will suddenly change her mind before he reaches his car, but unfortunately for him, once Chihiro makes up her mind there is no changing it. It is one of the many things about her that fascinates and excites me. "I am sorry that I wasted your time." He says softly as he turns towards his car and grips the handle to his door. "I won't bother you any more."
   "I'm sorry Seiji, I really am." She says softly as he slides into his car and she watches him with apologetic eyes as he pulls out of her driveway and disappears from sight. I remain silent and motionless as she sighs and closes the door behind her. The cool morning air rushes to greet her as she sit down on the step of her porch, the cool stone pressing against her skin. She closes her eyes in silent contentment as she bathes in the sun's warmth as it rises in the sky.
   I can't help but marvel at just how much she truly has grown. Not only has her age changed, but she truly has grown into a personification of true beauty. I can't help but stare at her, my eyes seem to be drawn to her without any hope of looking elsewhere. Her fingers dip into her pajama pant pocket and pul out the small pink flower that I had placed on her windowsill the night before. I blink in shock, when had she grabbed it without me noticing? She must have done it when I was deep in thought. She twirls the flower around between her fingers, admiring it from every angle that she can. A soft smile dawns her lips as she looks upon it.
   "So many memories come back with the sight of this little flower." She says softly, her words carrying to my ears with ease. "There are times that I think about going back, just to see that garden once more beneath the glow of the silver moon. To see the familiar faces that I was forced to leave behind for a decade." She frowns slightly and her expression suddenly turns sad. "It has been so long, I can only wonder if they remember me."
   If only she knew that none of us have ever been able to forget her. Even Lin has her moments where she gets teary eyed thinking about her young partner. Chihiro has truly left a much larger impact on our existences than she realizes or could ever expect to comprehend. Her eyes flick up towards my perch in the trees and a small grin of amusement dawns her lips as she looks directly at me. I find myself to be completely frozen beneath her gaze. She had found me within an instant.
   "How long are you going to remain up there Haku?" She asks softly. "I know that you are there." A sweet and gentle smile dawns her lips and makes her entire face glow with pure happiness and joy. "I have known that you were there since midnight last night. There is only one person that would ever think to leave me a flower like this." She murmurs as she glances back at the small pink flower. "I have looked for years to find a flower that looks similar to this one and couldn't find one that would do the original justice, and now one appears seemingly out of thin air on my windowsill. It seems impossible, but nothing really is impossible for you Haku." I stare down at her in fascination as she peers up at me. "Don't be shy." She says as she pats the stone step right beside her. "I don't bite."
   I lean forward and allow gravity to carry me down to the Earth where I land softly on my feet. Chihiro smiles at me brightly, tears begin to swell in her eyes as she looks at me.
   "It has been a long time Chihiro."