A World So Cold (A modern Akatsuki story)

A wish for love

WARNING! DO NOT READ IF SENSITIVE TO BULLYING AND SELF HARM!

ALARA'S POV:
BEEP BEEP BEEP BE-!!!! I growl throwing the alarm clock against the wall across from my bed smashing the clock. "Well that's the end of that" I sigh and climb out of my bed groaning at the pain that followed. Glancing down I see my shirt had rid up over night and wast just under my chest and I could see the bruises from them dotting my pale scarred skin. Walking over to my closet painfully I pull out an outfit and walk to the bathroom a joined to my bedroom. Walking in I close the door and get undressed from my pajamas which consisted a long black disturbed shirt that went to my thighs and underwear. Climbing into the shower I turn on the water not caring if it's cold. I place a hand onto the white tiled wall and place my head under the shower head letting the cold water run through my matted pitch black hair. I wince when I feel it pelt the bruises on my back and the two scars across my shoulder blades. Sighing I grab the shampoo bottle with cherry blossom scent and squeeze some of the pink shampoo into my hands before Lathering it through my matted hair smiling slightly when I smell it's calming scent. When I'm down I rinse my hair and repeat with the conditioner and body wash before turning off the water climbing out and dry myself off with a black towel. Almost everything I owned was black. After I dried off I wrapped some bandages around my chest and stomach before getting dressed. Once I was done I look into the mirror and sigh..... I see an ugly girl with horrible black hair, dull and lifeless violet eyes..... Closing my eyes I pull up a black eyeliner stick and apply it to my eyes giving it a cat eye affect. Then I apply dark red lipstick and put in my ear piercings...... I guess I was ready for a horrible day of school or in my case personal hell hole...... Walking out the bathroom I walk into my room and grab my Akatsuki cloud over shoulder book bag from beside my bed and walk out to the hallway and into the kitchen. Opening the fridge I look at what's inside and sigh. It was almost empty if not for the half empty milk carton and tub of strawberries that are almost bad. Closing the fridge I open the cabinets above the granite counter top...... Nothing but crackers..... "UGH!!!" I groan loudly and slam the cabinet shut and make my way to the living room and to the front door. I guess I'll just buy food on the way home from work tomorrow. Sighing I head outside and lock the door before making my way down the street. It was still pretty early..... Ok it was about 5 in the morning the sun hasn't even woken up yet. I had to head to school early to talk with the guidance counselor about colleges. Even though I'm fifteen I'm pretty smart not to toot my own horn or anything. I'm a sophomore at WestWood High School but with my grades I could be in my second year of college. I guess all those hours of reading payed off.... Walking down the empty street I pulled out my phone from my pocket and plugged in my earphones to listen to some music. Scrolling through my playlists I walked down the sidewalk ignoring everything but still able to walk around without bumping into anything. Once I find a certain song I smile and click that turning up the volume all the way. It was a world so cold by 12 stones. I loved the way the song spoke as if it was meant for me. As I see the school come into view I look at the time on my phone to see it was 6:30..... Guess I took longer than I thought. Eh oh well..... I place my emotionless blank face on and walk up the school stairs and into the office inside. This was going to be a long day..... I could feel it.....

~time skip~

It was mid day..... And I've already about had it..... Their words were hurting..... Though I'd never show them but I could feel my heart crack and break with each word. "Fat" "ugly" "why don't you just go kill yourself!" "You'll be doing us all a favor!!!!" "I bet your parents killed themselves because they were ashamed of giving birth to something so horrendous!" "Why don't you go home and cut yourself freak!" I closed my eyes trying to block out their voices. I could feel the echo of the words rattle my brain and I feel my eyes tear up but I don't dare let them fall...... They'll just throw more hateful words..... Briiiinnggg!!! Briiiiinnnngggg!!!! I sigh when the lunch bell rings and as everyone files out of the classroom to the lunch room. Reopening my eyes I see the whole room was empty.... Even the teacher had left.... 'Probably to get away from me' I think to myself glaring at the floor.... Getting up I grab my bag and head to the roof. It was the only place I could be alone and think about why I'm even alive.... Climbing up the steps I open the steel door and shut it behind me and walk over to the edge of the roof and look down at the ground below..... Sighing I sit down legs hanging over the edge and open my bag pulling out a granola bar and water bottle. Opening the wrapper I look out at the view of the forest behind the school..... It seemed so calm and peaceful..... But also dark and dangerous..... They said wolves and bears were out their..... Taking a bite out of the plain granola bar I open my water bottle and take sip washing away the bland flavoring of the snack...... This day was getting longer and longer as the minutes passed..... I couldn't wait to get home..... The words were beginning to weigh me down and I could feel myself suffocating in them..... Just.... Just make it through the day..... I can do it.....

~time skip~

I was wrong..... I couldn't do it.... I couldn't ignore their words.... Every note thrown with the words..... Every word said..... I couldn't take it..... I'm all alone..... No one loves me..... No one.... Maybe.... Maybe I could do everyone a favor and end it all..... Maybe..... But.... But I want to live.... Is it wrong to.... Want to live?.... Running down the sidewalk I run up my houses driveway before stopping in front of the door. Frantically trying to pull out my keys. I needed to end the pain.... I needed to get the words out of my head.... I.... I needed..... Finally finding my keys I slam them into the keyhole and unlock the door before running inside and slamming the door and throwing the Keys and bag away before trembling and shaking making my way to the bathroom. Rushing inside I pull open the medicine cabinet shoving aside the medications inside trying to find it.... Where is it.... 'Aha! Yes I found it!!' I yell in my head pulling out the blade with a smile. Sitting on the edge of the Tub I pull off the leather jacket I was wearing to reveal scarred arms. Smiling a sadistic smile I place the blade to my skin and dig it in slowly hissing but loving the feeling it gave me. Slicing it across my arm I feel the blood run down my arm and onto the floor. But I didn't care. I just wanted to feel.... Slicing the blade again.... And again..... And again..... And again...... Until I had a river of blood run down my arm.... Sighing I put the blade down and lean over carefully to turn in the water in the tub and place my arm under the cold water flinching as it stung but I didn't scream. Once the blood stopped flowing I turned off the water and walked over to the medicine cabinet stepping in something wet.... Looking down I see a puddle of blood and only then did I realize I had let it drop onto the floor. Grabbing a towel I drop it on to the blood and walk back to the cabinet pulling out bandages and anesthetic planning on cleaning the blood tomorrow. Applying the anesthetic and bandages  I leave the things on the counter and walk over to my bed. Climbing under the black comforter that held the Akatsuki cloud over it I turn over and turn off the light and look out the window beside my bed. I look at the sky and feel tears gather in my eyes as I think about the day. Suddenly a shooting star passes through the night sky and closing my eyes I whisper "I wish I had a family.... Friends.... Someone to love a.... Freak like me." A tear falls from my eyes before I feel myself fade away into a dark oblivion to have the nightmares haunt me.

A/n: I don't own the Akatsuki or any of their merchandise. I only own Alara.