My Testimony

This is it. Right here.

Before I start, I have included a picture of my adorable cat. Just for kicks.

Okay so I guess I should start with how I came to know Jesus in the first place. Well, I was practically raised in a church called Wave Church. I grew up knowing Jesus as my savior and BFF and refuge etc and overall this great person who gave his life for me.

As a child, I had some pretty intense anxiety that lasted all the way up to middle school, and I had ADHD and I was a really empathetic and caring person.
The only real problem that came up in elementary school was when I decided to tell my class about Crisis Pregnancy Center, an organization for mothers considering or going through abortion. When I asked my teacher for some time to tell my classmates about a fundraiser that CPC was having, she called the principal and they marched me straight to the guidance counselor and called my parents for a meeting.
The principal, guidance counselor, and my teacher all gave me and my parents a hard time, because CPC was a very christian organization. They talked about "separation of church and state" and other crap. I don't remember much after that, but my parents said we stood up for ourselves.

After that incedent, time went on, and my school shut down, causing my twin brother Jacob and I to have to switch schools for 5th grade. My brother Logan went into middle school at nor view at this time.
Logan and Jacob had always fought, and they weren't always the normal brotherly fights. I was always getting in the middle because I was nosy, and it only caused more stress for me. When Logan hit middle school, however, the fights became worse and worse. This only caused a rift between Logan and the rest of the family. Me and Jacob feared him, and no one had any trust towards him. The situation got worse and worse, and I didn't feel safe at home.
When Jacob and I go to middle school, Jacob finally started taking out his aggressions on me. He would speak very harshly, and threw out insults like it was an everyday practice. This killed me, because it broke one of the strongest bonds I thought I had. The only refuge I had where life wasn't completely and overwhelmingly painful was church.
5th grade passed, and Jacob and I transitioned into 6th. I still only felt at home in my church.
Let me just say, Wave Church's Norfolk campus was in a night club. Also, there was nothing to offer for kids like me and my brothers, who had memorized the Sunday school curriculum. On Saturdays, there was a middle and high school service, but it wasn't very good. Logan and Jacob began to hate going to church. They fought every Sunday, just to stay home.
Eventually, my parents decided that our church wasn't giving us what we needed, so everyone but my sister got out and started looking for a new church. During this time, Logan continued to beat on Jacob, Jacob kept making cutting remarks, and I continued to scream and cry at everything that upsetted me involving home. My family also continued a pattern of distrust towards Logan. I fell deeper into depression and at home I cried a lot. Jesus became less and less present at home as we fell into a rut.

After a few months of searching, mom and dad decided to return to their first church: vineyard. They found a campus in Virginia Beach, and we went there. We continued to come back, and came to like this church very soon. Logan and Jacob stopped fighting to stay home on Sundays. We were still in a bad place, but it began to get better. Mom and dad moved Logan into the kitchen, and me into Jacob's room.
Then a family friend underwent a divorce and financial crisis. What may have been horrible for him was actually a blessing in disguise, since he ended up having to stay with us in our home, helping out both us and him. I believe that Mr Jim coming into our home was God turning things around for us. Mr Jim became a spiritual influence in our home and began mentoring Logan and working with him to improve his behavior. Logan gradually improved.

Logan wasn't the only one going through a spiritual change because of Mr Jim though. I underwent a radical change in attitude almost overnight because of Mr Jim. I woke up one morning and finally listened to Jesus and started loving Logan again. I began ignoring the ways he wronged me, and I stopped yelling at him, and my entire demeanor changed. This sudden attitude adjustment in impacted my whole family, and we started leaning into the Word as a family again. This combined with Logan's mentor-mentee relationship with Mr Jim, and the situation at home drastically improved over the next year.
The turning point in my life happened in October 2014. I received the baptism of the holy spirit, and unlocked the gift of tongues. Then, that November, I joined a program called Alpha which changed my life even more. It was a three month program in which I was made to do three devotionals a week, share the love of Jesus somehow every week, and attend a special class every Sunday during the second service. That December, I preached a sermon for the first time in my life. It was really scary.
After I finished the Alpha program, I jumped right into the next step: a year long program called the Internship. This program was really just a more intense version of Alpha. I couldn't date (not that I wanted to anyway), I had to attend all of the services (Thursdays, Fridays, Sundays), I had to do five devotionals a week, I still had a class on Sundays, and I had to fill out a time sheet every week and get it signed by my mentor.
Just like with Alpha, this program helped me to grow my faith exponentially. This growth gave me focus and pushed me to influence my family more and more. My faith brought my entire family closer to God.

During the year I was an Intern, I went through the transition to high school. I lost my best friend that summer, and it took a lot of faith to let her go. However, it resulted in more spiritual growth and prepared me for the challenge ahead.
With all this growth, I was bound to be tested eventually, and that test came in ninth grade. I was feeling really lonely due to the loss of my best friend, and I had a really hard time finding a deep connection like that again. Then, in the midst of raging hormones and deep loneliness, this guy showed up. We quickly became friends, and really connected; but I knew that he wasn't looking to be in the friendzone. I had to make a choice: continue the relationship as friends, more than friends, or not at all. This distracted me a lot, and even though on the outside I managed to balance everything, my insides were churning. I had a lot of deep conversations with God concerning this boy. I kept him in the friendzone, but it was still awkward, and I really had to rely on Jesus to fill the loneliness that gouged a hole in my heart. But I made it through.

Near the end of my internship, I was asked to lead Vineyard's first-ever youth prayer team. I felt really inadequate and had to rely on the other leaders a lot. No one ever came up for prayer either, and it made me feel not good enough. These feelings were very short lived, however, because I met up with the reader of the adult prayer team, and started going to intercessory prayer meetings. This practice helped me grow in my trade. The more I prayed, the less I felt insecure.
In March 2016, I graduated the Internship. During the ceremony I felt blessed and in tune with God, but I soon realized the lessened responsibility and accountability I had. For about a month, I neglected my devotional time and prayer time, and my faith and grades suffered for it. When the structure went away, it was like I had lost my footing.
This downhill stroke stopped when I was tempted again with that oh-so-tempting boy. He asked me out. I had to seriously consider my answer this time, so I was forced back into a prayer routine as I sought guidance in this matter. In my prayer, I slowly learned to make my own structure, and picked myself back up again. I rejected him, and picked up my grades by the end of the year.
With my most recent challenge, I come to the present. I became a mentor to a girl named Kaitlyn, and she's really been a blessing. As I teach her, I learn more about Jesus, and as she gets closer to Him, so do I. Its been a life-changing experience.