BTS ANGST

let me breathe - jimin

This was the fifth time this week where Jimin missed my calls and ignored my texts.

0243 - it was 17 minutes till 3 in the morning, when I heard the door latch click.
I wasn't sure if I had the strength to argue again tonight. I decided that I was over his cold actions and behaviour.

I felt his weak body slip into bed, he was covered in cold sweat.

Waiting.

Waiting for him to fall asleep so I could detach myself from him and leave. I had enough, the blunt replies, the rude remarks, the fact that he knew I was aware of his secrets meetings with Sae Hee - his ex-girlfriend, it made me feel physically sick. I could smell her on him, the scent of Dolce droplets laid evenly on his chest.

Sleeping.

He was finally sleeping, his skin still glistening, lips rosy and plump - he was beauty, sculptured from the finest of Greek sculptors. He never failed to put me in a trance - I loved him, but was the pain worth it in return to be encased in his strong arms every night?

Being caged in that apartment for hours on end, inhaling and exhaling the same lies and false hope I keep telling myself. i was living in a box and I needed to breathe.

I un-snaked his arm from underneath my body, slowly inching myself away from him, keeping as quiet as possible, my bag was already packed, I just needed to change my clothes, the note was written, not that he deserved it. I was done, this was done. wewere done.

"Y/N -ah?" he whispered in his raspy voice.

I stumbled at the sudden sound. I kept quiet. Shuffling toward the bedroom door.

"how long have you known?" he wiped the grog from his eyes.

I continued out the door and made my way to the kitchen.

"y/n-ah answer me!" he trailed behind me.

I took a deep breath of all the courage I've been puckering up.

"long enough, Jimin-ssi"

"Jinja?"he acted surprised as if I wouldn't notice his hickey covered neck, the lipstick smudged on his collar.

"-"

"Y/N-ah say something"

"something?"

"are you fucking serious?"

"-"

"Y/N-ah speak to me"

"I have nothing to say to you, you knew I knew, you continued as if you're entitled to hurt someone else"

he ignored my response as if I didn't speak at all.

"you're not even going fight for us Y/N-ah?"

"I'll think about fighting for us, once I hook up with Taehyung-Oppa"

it was silent for a mere moment.

"you wouldn't" he whispered

"I would!"

"Y/N-AH"!!"

"haven't you seen the way taehyungie looks at me? I think I'll have him" I teased. everything I bottled up for the last 6months was ready to overspill.

"Y/N-ah, don't even think about it"

"think about what? being taken by your bestfriend? I'm sure he'd treat me better then you - who runs to his ex after every single practice for the past 2 and half months to have sex to just sneak home to his devoted girlfriend of 2years at early hours in the morning like I wouldn't fucking notice Jimin"

"you knew and you didn't even do anything about it - typical y/n, you never consider me or us"

"I NEVER CONSIDER YOU? ooooo the fucking cheek, I never stress you about my issues or what's going on with my family, I keep quiet and run you your bath, meals have been prepared and cooked for you ready for when you come home - following all your fucking dietary guidelines I've been given and yet you rather fuck the girl that cheated on you with your friend, but somehow I'm the fucking bad guy, I'm in the wrong as usual, fucking classical"

"Y/N-AH I JUST WANT YOU TO OPEN UP TO ME, THATS ALL I FUCKING WANT, LOVE ME FOR FUCK SAKE, COME TO MY SHOWS, SUPPORT ME, YOU DONT EVEN COME TO THE DORM ANYMORE" he shouted.

I was startled by the sudden anger raging from his body

"when was the last time you came to pick me up from practice or just come to practice to see me after work, huh? I only get to see you on your basis" he told me sternly

"so that makes what you did excusable? just because I was busy with my life a few months ago, dealing with my own shit and refraining from stressing you out even more you thought it was okay to cheat on me?"

"I just wanted your attention y/n-ah" he mumbled

"you go on tours to the US for months at a time, and that's the best bullshit you could come up with"

"I- i"

"do you hear me complain about the times where I could only speak to you once every two weeks, a mere 2 minute FaceTime call? piss off with bullshit" I cut him

"I c can explain" he stuttered

"I'm sure you can, it's a shame I don't want to hear it" I walked over towards the door opening it for him to close it again hurriedly

"Y/N-ah jebal, look I'll delete her number, I'll never see her again- please, I love you, I don't think I can live without you" I pushed his hand away from the door

"you should've thought about that before you put your penis back in Sae Hee, I'll come and collect the rest of my things later on this week"

"Y/N-ah..."

"Tell Sae Hee I wish her luck, enjoy your life, and good luck with your career, I'm sure you'll become even better without having to come home to me anymore"

"Y/n.."

"oh and don't worry I won't be in contact with anyone in the band, Goodbye Park Jimin" I cut giving him a thin and simple smile.

CR: btstaejimin /tumblr