Previously titled: Phone Book
                              ___
                              She never called. She never texted. She never said anything. It's like she never even existed.
                              I wondered why she didn't call. She had everything she needed. A phone, my number. Why didn't she call? They always call. 
                              Was she a figment of my imagination? Was she another person that the voices created? Was she part of one of their little games? 
                              Or was she real? She seemed so real.
                              I stayed up night after night wondering. I found myself in bars passing the time, causing a little trouble with a few girls here and there. I wandered the city at night until I could see the sun rising behind the sky scrapers. 
                              I kept myself busy like I always do. Perpetually looking for some sort of enjoyment within the dull, monotonous gazes of people who tried so hard to interest me. 
                              Last night I stayed up, bored, until the late night re-runs changed into the morning news. 
                              Until the crickets turned into chirping birds. Until Netflix asked me if I was still watching my show at least 4 times.
                              I haven't properly slept in 3 days.
                              So I sit here on my couch, the sun not yet peeking through the curtains. A soap opera re-run is starting. I wait for something. Anything. I wait. 
                              And wait.
                              Reluctantly, I sigh and lean onto my knees. I look away from the TV.
                              "She's not gonna call." I realize aloud, tossing my matchbook left and right. 
                              Left, right. Left, right. 
                              "Was she even real?" I ask aloud, looking at my aloe vera plant that sits in the center of my coffee table.
                              I receive no answer from the plant.
                              "Didn't think so."  I say and frown.
                              Lonely?
                              "Fuck off." I say quietly, in no mood for their shit right now.
                              How pathetic.
                              He's alone. He's always alone. 
                              I shake my head, ignoring them. They're usually a bit more irritable in the mornings, especially when I haven't slept in a while. So I don't blame them for being annoyed with me.
                              It's all her fault.
                              Who does she think she is?
                              I raise my brow, silently agreeing with them. I run my fingers along the shiny surface of the matchbook, making a great deal of studying it.
                              Who does she think she is? She was the one who saw me first. She's the one who approached me. I wouldn't have even seen her had she not made her presence known. Shouldn't she be eager to see me? They're always so eager to see me again.
                                      
                                  
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INSANE ⋆ Z.M (rewriting)
FanfictionA psychological thriller following the life of handsome pseudo-psychopathic schizophrenic, Zayn, as he faces the wicked temptations of his disease. All Rights Reserved © zaynsprada 2020 warning: this story includes profanity, violence, brief drug us...
