Vans

Fear and Anger

I didn't know what to do at this point both guys ran away from me and now I was stuck at a crossroads...who do I go after? Who do I comfort?

I decided to call Dylan to see if she could go talk to Kartir but she didn't answer, she was most likely with Ryan

I remembered Kycer was somewhat close to Sara so I called her

"Why are you calling me this early in the morning" she said

"Sara, it's 10:00 in the morning" I replied

"It's early for me, anyways what's up?" She asked

"Is there any possible way you can console Kycer for me?" I said

"Huh?" She asked confused

After I explained the whole story to her she finally understood and agreed

"Thank you so much, my life is fucked up right now and it's hard to handle alone" I said to her

"Yeah I get it now go find Kartir and tell the boy how you feel" she shouted through the phone

"Ok, Ok" I said hanging up

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I ran all the way to Kartirs house and knocked on the door

"Hi?" A lady answered the door said

"I'm looking for Kartir"I said

"He's not here at the moment he said something about going to the football field if you want to look there" she said

"Thank you, are you his mom?" I asked

"Yes, a friend of his?" She asked me

"Yes ma'am" I said

"Nice to meet you" she said

"You too" I said

I walked to the football field and boy was it a long walk all I wanted right now was some fruit loops and my bed but I had to sort all this out

I saw Kartir sitting on the bench with his head in his hands, he looked vulnerable but yet strong like nothing could break his barrier he had built up around him

I walked up behind him and placed my hand on his shoulder

"Kartir" I said ever so quietly

He turned around to look at me, his eyes looked so torn like he was deciding to say something or not he looked upset, maybe even broken

"Kart-" I started

"Do you like him?" He interupted me

"I-I" I stuttered

"Yes, or no? DO YOU LIKE HIM?!" He shouted making me jump and step back

"No" I said very softly

"Then why?" He asked sounding pissed off

I was scared at this point, he never raised his voice he never has gotten this angry.

"WHY?! WHY KISS HIM IF YOU DIDNT FUCKING LIKE HIM?!" He shouted

"I DIDNT, HE KISSED ME!" I screamed now in tears afraid of him, he was way taller than me and stronger and the way things have gone in my past when guys get like this you end up hurt ... Physically and emotionally

He stepped closer to me, but I backed up

"Blake, I-I'm sorry" he said reaching out to grab my hand but I flinched and snatched my hand away and backed up from him

"You're scared of me?" He said quietly like he was talking to himself I saw something I've never seen before, I saw him cry, he was crying

"I'm sorry" he said before running off somewhere leaving me in my tears and thoughts

Kartir POV

She was scared of me? I fucked up, I really liked her and I knew Kycer liked her, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, I yelled at her for nothing, got angry at her for nothing if anything.  I Should have been angry at myself for not knowing something like this would end up happening sooner or later.

I'm such a fucking screw up! I ran away I didn't want to scare her anymore than she already was I just wanted to cuddle her and tell her everything would be ok but I couldn't so I ran.