Remembering The Doctor ~Spencer Reid FF~

Chapter 1

"A weak man has doubts before a decision. A strong man has them afterwards." Carl Kraus

~1 month later~

~

  "Hey!" I yell; startling the man and making him jump. Before he has the chance to raise his gun on me, I shot him. 

Spencer was dead. 

~

 "Rebecca!" Mallorie yells, shaking me awake. "Dreaming again?" She asks, sitting down besides me on my bed as I sit up, breathing heavily. "Same one?" I nod as I glance at the time. 6:23. "Maybe you should see a counselor. It might help them to stop."

"Yeah, that's not going to happen." I mumble getting out of the bed.

"None of it was your fault. You know that." She tells me as I go into the closet, grabbing some clothes. "What are you doing?" 

"Getting ready for work." I say going into the bathroom and locking the door before she has a chance to stop me.

"Becca, you know what your boss said. You're not ready to get back into things."

"I"ll be fine." I say as I quickly begin to make myself presentable.

"You need to talk to someone. You haven't been getting much sleep." She says, knocking on the bathroom door.

"I'll. Be. Fine." I say again, desperately wanting to get out of the house.

"Bec-"

I open the bathroom door, looking at my best friend staring at me concerned. "Mal, I'm tired moping around this house feeling sorry for myself. I love hanging out with you guys but I need to get out of here. I need a distraction. I'll be fine."

"Yeah, I know. That's what you keep saying." Mal says bitterly. "But you don't look fine." 

I grab my purse and slip on my shoes, "I'm leaving.  Go back to sleep. " I tell her as I walk out of my bedroom and over to the twins room, where they are both still asleep. I kiss them both goodbye before heading into the office. 

I can feel everyone staring at me as I sit at my desk for the first time in a long time. I tug on the sleeves of my blazer, covering my arms from the chilly office I almost forgotten about after being away. I know everyone didn't feel ready for me to come back yet, but I needed to get out of that house.

I felt as if all happiness was sucked from me and it's been happening since I was a little girl, but it's never been this bad. I've never felt so empty. Of course I still had the twins, who were the best part of my life now, but a big chunk was still missing from me. 

I stare down at the pile a paperwork on my desk and begin to work on it, not wanting to interact with anyone today. "Hey." I soft voice says coming up besides my desk. I look up at Morgan who is looking at my worryingly. "I didn't know you were coming in today." He says.

"I didn't either." I manage to say, shrugging. "Kind of a last minute decision."

"Well it's good to see you Becca but we have a case and I don't think it would be a good idea if you went." He says to me.

"No, let me go." I say standing, even though Morgan had no say if I went or not. "It'll be nice to get away from here for a while."

Morgan sighs, "I'm not the one you have to convince." 

I look up and watch the rest of the team filing out of the round table room, Hotch not looking happy to see me.

"Wish me luck." I say to Morgan as I get up from my desk and walk over to Hotch, following him into his office. "Before you say anything-" I begin to defend myself.

"I'm glad you're back." He say sternly.

"Wait what?" I say, expecting a lecture. 

"I think working again will be good for you." He says, gathering files from his desk.

"Then why haven't you asked me to come back?" I ask him.

"I didn't want you to feel you had to do something you weren't ready to do." Hotch explains to me. "So, are you ready?"

"Yeah." I nod hesitantly.

"Good" He says handing me a file, "Wheel's up in 30."

~

OMG I DID IT! I DEFEATED WRITERS BLOCK! Claps for me...

no?

k.

Welcome to the first part of the final book, Remembering the Doctor! I'm going to try to make this last book 20/25 parts but let's be real it may be shorter than that cause I suck!

This was kinda just a starter part so sorry it is so short...new part should be up soon? Who knows.

OK bye guys!