Riker's Depression

Chapter 14 : Eating disorder

Chapter 14

Riker POV

"Riker. I think we need to have a talk. About you."

"Me?"

"Yeah."

I started to get all panicky inside. I wasn't crying anymore, but I was starting to feel absolutely sick to my stomach.

"Hey. Calm down. Everything's ok."

"H-how'd you k-know...?"

"All the color is gone from your face."

Paige took my hand in hers, and squeezed it gently.

"First of all, I want to say that I'm not kicking you out. So you can relax about that."

"P-promise?"

"I promise, I won't kick you out."

"Ok..."

"I think you have problems, Riker."

I have millions of problems...

I just looked at Paige, not knowing what to say to her.

"I get that you don't want to tell anyone. You seem to be very cut off from your family. And you're very closed in. But I want you to open yourself up to me. I can help you."

"I d-don't n-need help," I whispered.

"Riker. You think you're fat, when you're skinny. You're getting beat up by your brother. You seem to have nobody in your life that you trust. And that's a major problem. You need to have somebody you can go to when something's wrong."

"N-no. M-my chest h-hurts."

"Riker, what's wrong?"

"I-it f-feels like I'm g-going to h-have an a-anxiety a-attack."

Paige put her arm around me.

"Can you tell me what happens when you have an anxiety attack?"

"I g-get all s-shaky and s-sweaty. A-and it f-feels like I c-can't b-breathe, even if I'm h-hyperventilating. E-everything feels l-like a d-dream. I c-can't see s-straight, everything s-sounds l-like echoes, and m-my f-fingers and t-toes feel n-numb and t-tingly."

"Ok. Why don't you just lay down, and relax."

She helped me lay down again. She was still holding my hand in hers, and it made me feel a little bit better.

"You ok?"

"M-my chest hurts..." I whispered.

"How?"

"It f-feels tight..."

"What do you do to help it?"

"N-nothing."

"Do you parents know you get anxiety attacks?"

"No."

"So you don't take medication or anything for it?"

"No."

Paige sighed.

"Ugh, I hate this feeling!"

"What feeling?"

"Like I'm going to have an anxiety attack!"

"Just calm down. I'm sure you'll feel better in a little bit. Do you want to talk any more about your problems?"

"Like what?"

"Like... Why do you think you're fat?"

"Because I am."