i close my eyes and all i can see is your lips slowly coming down on mine, fluttering against mine. slow at first, like you're scared to dive in but you dip your toe into the water and you deem me cold enough so your ice cold lips meet mine more frantically and your hand winds up in my hair.
your eyes are closed so tight i think you might just feel her in my kiss. i think you might just mean to say her name when you mumble mine. i think you might just be staring into my eyes to see if you can remember the exact color of hers.
mine are the darkest bark of the tallest tree, and hers are the lightest blue of the noon sky. she's warm and im cold, but sipping on her only ever made you more bitter and i made you wonder and messed up your hair.
I calmed my leaves, i didn't listen to the wind. I stopped growing for you, but you complained I was too tall, I was blocking your view of the sky. i still see your hands running along my hips, i can still feel your fingers grazing my thigh and sometimes i wonder, is this really how you get by? i think you picture her when you're next to me, i think that's why your eyes are always so tightly closed.
and im sorry, i wish i could be your distraction but i want someone's lips on mine to mean something more than to just pass time, i want to make time to stop. i want a collision, but all you ever wanted was to see her again, to feel her again, and im sorry, but i crave a love that consumes me, not a love that doesn't quite fit right in between my ribs because it was never me that wanted to begin with.
i wanted to hold you, believe me i did but i can't hold anymore, not when i could feel myself slipping away. i wanted to love you, believe me, but how can i when i cant even love myself?
for me, you are the sun and the moon, you are the grass and the dirt. you are the blood that runs through my veins. I cannot stop you from using me like you do. because when you do, I am the instrument and you are the musician.
you always said she loved the guitar, but I never realized you would turn me into one. and as the song you are playing continues, I begin to realize you are only using me for her. but I cannot stop you, because I too love the guitar. and although I hate what you have turned me into, I cant help but remember a time when your skin was on mine, and if I were to throw that away I would hate myself endlessly.
